You might know what you need to before dating an introvert, but do you know what really gets us rattled? Being the less social type in a very social world means we have to navigate some frightening things. Here are 13 things that really scare introverts.

1. Negotiating for a raise. This can be a scary situation for everyone, but especially introverts. Since we’re not the best at speaking on the fly we tend to overthink these situations. Are we coming off as a robot? Are we being a pushover? It all just makes us want to run for the hills!

2. Meeting the parents. So you want us to impress your parents and make a bunch of a small talk that doesn’t feel natural to us? Sounds like a terrible time. Of course we push through it because it’s important, but we are definitely squirming inside throughout every minute of it.

3. Networking events. Sadly the professional world leans towards extroversion. If you want to go farther you have to network, but there’s nothing natural in it for introverts. What if this person thinks our company is a joke? How do we act like we don’t want something from this person? When do we exchange cards? Help!

4. Following up with new people. It could be just as terrifying to meet new people as it is to keep up with them. What if this person doesn’t even remember us? What if they do remember and hate us? What do we even say? You might not think much went into our email, but it took a lot of work.

5. Public speaking. Sometimes it’s necessary but there might be nothing more terrifying than making us the center of attention and having us use our words. Imagining other people naked never works, our legs turn to jelly, we really have to focus for our voice to not waver. It’s awful.

6. Going to a big party with extroverted friends. This is just a recipe for disaster. We know our friends have no problem meeting new people or working the room. However we want stay by the snack area and leave after the first hour. We know we will probably be deserted and would rather avoid it.

7. First date with a stranger. We have no clue how to talk ourselves up because we don’t know what this person is looking for. We just cross our fingers and hope there is a natural connection over something because an hour or so worth of small talk or awkward silence is not fun.

8. Losing your headphones. These are usually our saving grace when we don’t want other people to try to talk to us. When we lose them people try to talk to us more and know we can hear them so there’s no escape. It’s not the worst thing that can happen, but it ruins the day.

9. Having an awkward lull in conversation. We have no problem not talking, but we know other people do. Coming across as weird is already a fear of ours so when this happens it is like our fear is coming true right before our eyes.

10. Others misinterpreting us as being stuck up. Not being that talkative comes across different ways. Instead of it being the right way—being nervous, some take it as being stuck up. We’re not, we swear! We just need help opening up to new people.

11. A job interview. Even if we have a great resume and are really excited about the position, an interview will never feel natural. We know that the interview is all about seeing if our personality meshes well with the work environment, but it’s really hard for us to pull out our personality for someone we don’t know. It takes a lot of practicing in the mirror.

12. A full week of social events. If we see very little to no breaks between being around a lot of people for a long period of time, then we know we will be tired. Socializing without pulling away to be alone is very draining for us.

13. Losing our talk point notes. If we have an important conversation on the horizon, then chances are we came up with a script for it. The scariest thing however is to lose that script or talking points for the main event. You mean we need to talk on the fly with little time to think? No, thank you!

Featured image via WeHeartIt