13 Vaginas That Completely Dominated 2015

Who run the world? Vaginas. Who run this mother? Vaginas.

 

With so many cool vaginas (and in many of these cases, vulvas) dominating the news in 2015, it was hard to narrow it down to just 13, but narrow it down I did. Here are the best vaginas of 2015.

1. The "World's Most Beautiful Vagina."

Auto-Blow sex toys decided to have a competition to find the world's most beautiful vagina and asked women to submit photos of their vaginas so the Internet could vote for and rank them. The three winners were told they'd get thousands of dollars in cash and the opportunity to have a mold made of their vulvas so they could be made into sex toys. Auto-Blow creator Brian Sloan  made that mold by 3-D scanning the first-, second-, and third-place vaginas after taking them to a quick lunch. A little weird, yes, but also, good for them?

2. The wall made entirely of vaginas. 

Over 400 women took part in Jamie McCartney's "Great Wall of Vagina" plaster of Paris artwork designed to put an end to women feeling shame about the way their vaginas look. McCartney said he was sick of companies shaming people for their vaginas and telling them they needed to have surgery to make them look better so the companies could make money off of them. He said his plan was to do castings with one woman's vagina from every country in the world and a casting series with one vagina from every state in America so women could see their vaginas are perfect. He's basically a terrific human being. 

3. The vagina emojis the world needed.

 

Flirtmoji introduced vagina emojis with diverse skin tones, tangles of hair, and little details like wrinkles, veins, freckles, piercings that made all of us wonder how we got along without vagina emojis for as long as we did.

4. This awkward teddy bear vagina. 

Sharon Green just wanted to order a cake from the U.K.'s Occasion Cakes for her 3-year-old daughter Tahlia Rose's christening, but what she got was a cake with seams that made the bear look like it had a vagina. Green says that she covered the bear's alleged vagina with fondant flowers because she didn't have time to do anything else, but she later demanded a refund from the bakery. She says that no one ate the cake and that the bears on the cake were also not what she ordered, but the shop said the alleged vagina on the bear was actually a seam where the bear was sewn together. So, potato, bear vagina, basically. 

5. These supermodel vaginas that totally touched.

Stuart Weitzman announced that Joan Smalls, Gigi Hadid, and Lily Aldridge would be the new faces of the shoe brand's spring 2016 campaign the best way they knew how: by having their vaginas touch in the photo. 'Nuff said. 

6. The vaginas that were picked out of a lineup by their owners. 

 BuzzFeed asked six women to look at their vaginas, describe them to a professional portrait artist, and pick their own vaginas out of a vagina lineup and three out of six women were able to recognize their own immediately. The overall consensus about the exercise was summed up perfectly by one of the women: "OK, it's awkward, but there's no shame in having a vagina," which is a message worth drawing strangers' vaginas for. 

7. The vagina that made a loaf of bread.

British Blogger Zoe Stavri whipped the Internet into a frenzy after writing about a sourdough loaf she'd begun to make from scratch, leavened with yeast from a vaginal infection. She sourced the yeast with the help of a dildo and baked it. Stavri then ate her special sourdough bread and said she "really, really liked it" and plans to bake more bread items using her leftover starter yeast (since her infection has since cleared up). Bon appetit. 

8. The vagina sculpture that mysteriously got white stuff all over it.

Sculptor Anish Kapoor's latest work, "Dirty Corner," also known as the "the vagina of a queen who is taking power," was mysteriously vandalized by someone who put white, uh, stuff, inside it. The estate's management said the piece was being cleaned and the mystery white paint removed, so it was eventually good as new. 

9. The weight-lifting vagina of Kim Anami.

Sex expert and life coach Kim Anami posted a ton of photos of her traveling the globe tying objects to a jade egg she inserts inside her, lifting the objects, and tagging them #ThingsILiftWithMyVagina, which is a pretty solid profession. 

10. Nicki Minaj's vagina dress.

Is it a vagina dress? Who knows. But when the light hits it just right, it seems like it is and that's good enough for me. 

11. The vagina painting that shut down a man's Facebook account.

 

 

A French teacher tried to sue Facebook for disabling his account in 2011 after he posted a photo of the 1866 painting "The Origin of the World" by Gustave Courbet. The famous work of art, currently on display at the Musée d'Orsay in Paris, is a close-up view of a woman's vulva, thighs, and stomach. Facebook shut down the man's account and has not reactivated it. Facebook's lawyer Caroline Lyannaz argued that the man's lawsuit had no merit, since all users have to sign a clause agreeing that only California courts can rule in disputes over Facebook, so French users couldn't take recourse with any of their policies. Take note, semester abroad travelers. 

12. The vagina that bled outside a temple in protest.

Twenty-year-old Nikita Azad started a Facebook campaign using #HappyToBleed to protest the Sabarimala temple in India, which doesn't allow women of menstruating age to enter. The temple chief said the rule would only be changed once they had a machine that could check whether a woman was menstruating or not. The campaign invites women to speak out against this sexism using charts or sanitary products with #HappyToBleed in photos on social media. ​

​13. Every vagina that got contoured this year.Vontouring (aka vaginal contouring) became a thing in 2015, even though I'm pretty sure no one asked for that to become a thing. The non-invasive, non-surgical labioplasty is designed to "correct the external look of vagina" by using an ultrasound to stimulate collagen production via the application of "intensive heating" applied to the vaginal opening." Plastic surgeons said the creepy-sounding vagina oven of sorts will increase the flexibility of the labia majora and minora and lead to "significant and long-lasting improvement of sexual satisfaction," but it mostly just sounded like weird sexist crap to me. Vaginas don't need bronzer, yo.