4 Women Get Real About How They Orgasm

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4 Women Get Real About How They Orgasm

"During foreplay I tell them to slow down, and not just pound into me. I tell them to go deeper and pay attention to the clitoris."

Female orgasms are a mystery to many — even women themselves who aren't having them and don't know how to. In this week's Sex Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com spoke with four anonymous twentysomething women about their experiences with making themselves come and helping the men they sleep with figure it out. 

How old are you?

Woman A: 27. 

Woman B: 24. 

Woman C: 20.

Woman D: 25.

How old were you when you first had sex?

Woman A: 15. 

 

Woman B: 17. 

Woman C: 17. 

Woman D: 17. 

How old were you when you first had an orgasm? 

Woman A: 15. I didn't have an orgasm the first time I had sex though. My partner at the time helped me climax eventually through oral sex. He was a bit older than me and was not a virgin, but very gentle and made sure I was comfortable. 

Woman B: 20. I think I was finally able to come because of who I was with and how much more comfortable I was with him than with anyone previously. Plus, we tried new positions and I was just more experienced in general by then.

Woman C: 17. I actually didn't come the first time I had sex. I'd only had an orgasm via masturbating before I'd had sex with anyone. 

Woman D: 18. My first orgasm happened while I was masturbating, using a vibrator. I wasn't able to come the first time I had sex though. 

What percentage of the time you're getting intimate do you have an orgasm?

Woman A: About 90 percent.

Woman B: 43 percent.

Woman C: I always orgasm while masturbating, but if I'm having sex with men, I have an orgasm maybe 5 percent of the time. It's extremely rare that I have an orgasm with a male partner. If I'm having sex with a woman, I probably orgasm about 30 percent of the time.

Woman D: During partner sex I orgasm about 10 percent of the time. While masturbating, it's about 95 percent of the time.

Is it easier for you to have an orgasm while masturbating, during oral sex, or during penetrative sex?  

Woman A: If I had to rank them, it's easiest for me to come via masturbation, followed by oral sex, and then penetrative sex. It's all relative though since I almost never have an issue achieving an orgasm. When it comes to masturbation, I can achieve multiple orgasms within a very short period of time because I do it so often. Oral sex is great, but it's far better if I am on top. Penetrative sex is also very enjoyable and I can almost always orgasm if I am on top. With certain positions, such as doggy style with clitoral stimulation, I can achieve both an internal and external orgasm. Those are great, but after that I am usually ready to cuddle and nap. 

Woman B: It's much easier for me to have an orgasm while masturbating with a vibrator. I also orgasm about 90 percent of the time with oral sex, but the best orgasms come from intercourse with me on top.

Woman C: It's definitely easier for me to come while masturbating. I know my own body really well and it's easier to respond to my own needs than tell another person what they are. 

Woman D: It's about 1000 times easier for me to orgasm during masturbation. I've never orgasmed strictly from penetration, even though guys seemed to think I would. I adore really good oral sex, especially when they put their fingers inside me as well. However, I have a really hard time reaching orgasm just from oral because I feel like it takes me too long, and I start to feel bad that my partner is working so hard for so long. I also usually squirt when it's really good and I worry about my partner's well-being when I'm squirting in their face.  

Have you ever had multiple orgasms?

Woman A: Yes. During solo play I can have about five orgasms in ten minutes. 

Woman B: Yes, with oral sex as foreplay, then intercourse after. 

Woman C: Yes, usually whenever I masturbate, but like I said, it's even more likely to happen when I'm using a vibrator.

Woman D: I'm not sure, so I guess I haven't. 

Have you ever had nipple-only orgasms?

Woman A: Sort of. I was on top of my boyfriend and we weren't grinding, but there was the gentle pressure from his package. He was using his hands to stimulate my nipples and I had one of the best orgasms. 

Woman B: Yes, I have. Sometimes my guy bites my nipples and licks them and I'll have an orgasm, but it doesn't feel as great as a regular orgasm. 

Woman C: No, I really don't think my nipples are sensitive enough for that to happen. 

Woman D: Nipple play doesn't really do much for me, so I've never had a nipple-only orgasm, sadly.

Do you feel comfortable giving guys tips to help you have an orgasm? 

Woman A: Yes, I do. Usually, they are completely up for being taught. I did have one partner that was slightly discouraged when I tried to give him advice. Fortunately, after I explained that it wasn't so much about him doing something wrong as much as it was about what I liked we were in sync. 

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Woman B: I usually have no problem telling guys what helps me orgasm, because I usually date them for a while and am comfortable with them before we have sex. They've all been completely fine with it. 

Woman C: Depends on who I'm with. I find that it's a lot easier to tell women what you'd like them to do because they tend to be a lot more understanding. Guys will sometimes get offended or hurt. My current partner is super great about this because he always listens to whatever I tell him.

Woman D: While I was single, I had no problem giving the guys I was hooking up with a little direction in terms of where to go and what to do. I think it's much easier for a man to take sex advice once you've been having sex with them regularly, instead of just that one time. When I've tried to give a one night stand a little advice they seemed to take it as an insult to their sexual abilities. I've been with my boyfriend for about 3.5 years now and we've also had some general conversations about what gets me off. That was helpful.



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