We all know the hating and hurting process. Each of us have experienced getting hurt and/or hating someone or even hurting other people too as a kid, while growing up or as an adult!
Aside from personal experiences, we see it in the news, in social media, in school or at home or work, and in entertainment shows. Anime shows us that revenge is empty. There are Hollywood movies that show us they do revenge all the time but does it stop hate and war from happening? Do the heroes who take revenge on others gain anything from it or do they continue propagating it instead?
Everybody loses when it comes to hate and pain, so what can be done to have more love, peace and happiness in this world to bring an end to this violent and negative cycle? I will share with you some insights I have learned over the years and also online through some recent research.
There's also a song called Tell Me Where It Hurts (and I'll do my best to make it better). If you listen to the song, I think it gives us a clue on what to do. Imagine if more people think the way the song lyricist does towards everyone. Barring being a people pleaser, it should make people become more sympathetic and helpful towards others without going overboard.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Offering your assistance to others should not be done to please them but to truly help the people instead. You know there are those who will never ask for help even though they need it right? Some would open up to be helped when asked, so this method can definitely apply to them.
Now let's go ahead and go over the list I made so we can end the cycle of hate and hurt slowly but surely.
• Decide to change yourself for the better.
Everybody has flaws, nobody is perfect but it does not mean we can't try to be good and better citizens of the world. We cannot change other people, we can only change ourselves. Change begins inside every one of us. When we consciously choose and decide to change for the better that's when the world will also change.
If you are seeking attention, state your true intention/s and be done with it, otherwise you are just wasting your time, life and great opportunities.
Revenge will not make you happy. You may think it makes you happy but it actually makes you worse than before as science experiments have proven. Does it make you feel good when other people hurt you? Do you think it makes you feel more alive when you hate and hurt others too? If you say yes then are you aware something is not right with that kind of thinking?
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Talk to the real person/people who hurt you in the past, the true source of your pain, and let them know about what you feel and what they've done to you at least once or twice maybe. Face them and be brave. Don't take your pain and anger out on other people by hurting friends or strangers when they are not even the source of your personal pain. Resolve your issues with yourself and the person who have hurt you and/or ask for help, that is the best solution.
Actually if people hurt you or attack you or your product and/or services, this is another perfect opportunity to improve yourself and your life or your business/system. It should not be disregarded or dismissed as nothing because it is something. You can even create something better out of it if you want to take it a step further.
Our most common reaction to hate and pain is to retaliate and/or run away from it all. When we see other people being abused we turn away and ignore what we see. Or we hit back because of the pain they gave us. If we do either one, then what happens? Will that make any of us happier or healthier people? Will that help anyone in the community or will that actually cripple the progress of everyone?
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
You can run away, make a change in the people you hang around with or your environment or the things you do in the company, or choose to take admirable and positive action to make a change instead. If you are a company owner and/or employees, do something to make improvements in your product or service whether online or offline. Let us change and improve our products or services or our individual thinking much like how the mobile apps are updated for improvement from time to time and how the computers are taken cared of by anti-viruses or anti-malware updates as well.
We can choose to be brave, develop a stronger mental, emotional and even physical health and improve our lives. If we do not find a way to improve our behavior or the way we live our life then we may be left behind by other people who will be more enlightened, richer or happier or even more than we will ever be.
Seriously, we should all help ourselves and help others to help themselves. If you do your best to help people and they refuse to improve themselves repeatedly then clearly you are not the one doing anything wrong.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
• Forgive and turn the other cheek, but do not let people abuse you either.
It is hard to forgive others but it makes people happier when we do it and it relieves stress and tension too. Find ways to undo your negative habits and replace them with positive ones. If people are abusive, call them out on their wrongdoings and do not be afraid to say something when someone is doing wrong.
Be aware when people are using you to hurt other people. If worse comes to worst, expose their bad behavior and do not take part in it.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Some people actually show their true colors by abusing others and instilling fear on the weak-willed people in order to (try to) control them. People who do this are showing other people what kind of person they are. They are letting us know their insecurities and their mental/emotional capacities, whether they are smart and talented or just insecure and faking it or even whether they are mature or immature.
Learn to be emotionally and mentally strong so abusive people can never hurt or use you at all. Make use of the bad people instead to improve yourself or your life and your product or services. This will make you so much better than those who hurt you or are trying to hurt you.
(Video credit: TheProphetsPath via YouTube)
• If you master your mind, you also master your emotions.
If you can meditate or do yoga to improve your outlook in life then go ahead and do it. Also be mindful of what you do and find a way to understand others.
You are the captain of your ship, the master of your soul. You decide where to go. Your actions will decide if you will go to heaven or hell. Even if people tell you to follow this or that if you have no control over your mind and heart then you will never find happiness or contentment. You might stay hurt forever and continue to hurt others in the process, whether consciously or unconsciously. You will have no escape from your own personal hell and torment if you do not choose to face what is causing it and make a change for a better life.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
• Be the better person and improve your life.
Channel your life boredom and pain into something that will benefit you and others. Exercise and build muscles. Find a way to earn extra money with your writing or speaking talents, etc. Who knows you might be good in stand up comedy or writing horror stories if only let you let yourself focus on doing it or something. Look for things you can do to make yourself good looking or rich or just help other people. Nobody is an expert in the beginning so if you give up now in becoming a good person then you will never be successful in life. You will always be a nobody and a loser if you do not become a better person than you were yesterday.
Use your life and extra energy to build something for yourself or for other people like your family and friends. We all have different goals and dreams so find the ones that are worth doing and spending time on. If you want fame or fortune soon then why are you wasting your time hating and hurting other people? Will it improve people's lives if you hurt others in the process? Do you want to go to jail or get apprehended by the police for your wrongdoings? If you don't go to jail now or change your bad behaviors, you will go to hell later.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Do something positive now to reach your goals that do not involve hurting people. Doing unproductive things like hurting and hating other people will only make you look weak, stupid, funny, useless, bored and pathetic.
Choose to be kind, generous and/or helpful or even charismatic to everyone even if it is hard because we are all connected in some way whether we like it or not.
Learn positive behavior and practice it whenever you can. Find the silver lining and look at the bright side of things even though it is not easy to do. Turn your hardships into sources of triumphs and accomplishments otherwise you will hate yourself more and your life or other people forever.
Here's a video for you with some more words of wisdom to chew on.
(Video credit: TrueVideo Bash via YouTube)
• Ask for Help or Provide assistance and guidance to others.
♦ This is what you can do for yourself:
If you do not ask, you will not know, and you will never find the truth/answer and will never have what you seek or need. Not everyone will know what you are going through and what you need until you say or write it. Accept that there is something wrong with you. Find a trusted family member or friend or a doctor for any of your mental, emotional or physical problems or injuries. Look for a spiritual guru for your heart and soul.
Read the Bible, read self help books/articles to help yourself or educate yourself on other religious doctrines and find which one strikes a chord with you to make your life better. Take everything with a grain of salt. Do your due diligence and find answers online or go to your local public libraries. Look for credible sources of information and people who are going through the same thing as you. Finding a support group can help you be accountable for yourself and encourage change and improvement in your life.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Listen and follow the advice of others if you know it is good for you. If a lot of people are telling you something, it may or may not be true so use your own judgement and do your own research. Pray for enlightenment and understanding so you can turn your life around.
♦ This is what you can do for other people:
Perhaps we can apply other first world countries' jail practices to help others. If we cannot help them, let's find people who can help them.
In Norway, they have a prison system which, "aims to repair the harm caused by crime rather than punish people. This system focuses on rehabilitating prisoners." The Netherlands is doing far better, having been known to have several empty prisons, some of which they closed down in 2013 and 2016, rented out to other countries or turned into hotels etc.
Prisons in Netherlands actually turn criminals into better and good productive people, unlike criminals in the US and the rest of the world who become more ashamed and discriminated on for having been jailed and for doing bad things.
(Photo credit via Pixabay 1 & 2)
Why are there less and less prisoners in the Netherlands for more than a decade? Some people from the US claim it is because there are criminals who are not caught at all, another reason may be due to the aging population or most likely it's because they help heal what caused the crime or the misbehavior. Dutch criminals are taught to do community service or are rehabilitated to do good/productive activities which results in non-repeat offenders.
According to Jan Roelof van der Spoel, the deputy governor of a Netherland high-security prison, as told to BBC news in 2016:
If somebody has a drug problem we treat their addiction, if they are aggressive we provide anger management, if they have got money problems we give them debt counselling. So we try to remove whatever it was that caused the crime. The inmate himself or herself must be willing to change but our method has been very effective.
Doesn't that sound a whole lot better? If we can find a way to help improve the people who are initially exhibiting bad behavior then we can make the world a better place indeed. If these people who were neglected and/or abused as children will change and improve themselves into better and productive adults, then the world will be a really great place to be.
BOTTOM LINE: Fix your life and ask or accept people's help. No one can fix or change your life but yourself.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
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Because over the past several years I’ve read all the self-help books I could and more, I’m sharing this with everyone. It’d probably make me richer if I wrote a book or do what other life coaches or motivational speakers are doing but I haven’t decided on that yet. Am happy to write and share it this way. I've written several self help articles to help others as much as the famous and inspirational people helped me.
If this doesn’t work for you, you’re free to find something else that will. No one knows you more than yourself.
Have anything more to add? Did I help you with this article? Feel free to leave a comment or maybe treat me to some vacation somewhere if you'd like:
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For more of my other insightful blogs, click below:
- Why People Hate or Hurt Other People (1 of 3)
- 5 Ways on How Not to be a Workaholic Anymore
- The What, Whys and How of Workaholism
- Drive and Motivation: What Compels Us to Move and Why
- How to Be Able to Do What You Haven't Done Yet – Step 1: Decide on Doing it (1 of 3)
- Are You Aware That The Golden Rule Sucks?
- A Basic Guide and Info on Sensitive and Manipulative People
- Complaints: The Whys and How to Stop It
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