We have reached out to India on numerous occasions to improve relations between the two countries. We even let them win a World Cup semi-final, when Sachin Tendulkar was batting, all Pakistani fielders were busy pretending they were Kamran Akmals. Oh by the way, the latest research says Kamran Akmal can potentially help cure many Ebola patients; he is apparently the only person who is unable to catch it.

India needs to treat Pakistan as equals. We are not far behind them in any field. Modi met Obama and we had Osama, we are literally just a letter away from them. They sent a satellite to Mars and I just sent Fazlu kaka to the store to get me a Mars bar.

We even made a car that runs on water. Now, only if we had water to run that car. Somebody needs to make a car that runs on pan ki peekfor Karachi.

India is also known for the Taj Mahal but I doubt that impresses any Pakistani. Our country has made a national hobby out of putting women in walls. There is a saying in Punjab, "Jinay deewar mai chuniya hee nahee o jamiya hee nahee".

Pakistan is the Yin to India's Yang; we are the aman in their asha; we are the lawn print to their fashion; the rice to their biryanis; the Disney Prince to their Disney Princess.

India, your movies taught me that “pyar dosti hai” so despite the fact that we are fighting with each other, you need to understand that kuch kuch hota hai, tum nahee samjho gay.

Do not wait till this Kajol becomes all beautiful and gets wooed by a Salman Khan. Let us try to be friends and if things work out, maybe some years down the line, our parents will meet each other and pave the way for our everlasting happiness