I just had the most annoying conversation today. Someone higher in work rank but younger than me was complaining to me about someone else. The manipulative bastard was trying to get sympathy instead of resolving his issue with someone. He also thinks everyone else is stupid except him.
Okay call me out on telling you all this about him but I already told him about my issue with him. And what I am saying about him is not based on just assumptions like he does, nor is it hearsay because it is based on facts of what happened and proven through, not just mine but other people's experience as well. So sue me.
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This is not the first time he called me to talk about his issue with someone. Am I his shrink? I am not here to listen and ask him how he feels about such things. I am not a psychiatrist so I will not react the way he needs. He needs someone to listen to him, and I did, but he himself does not listen to anything but what his mind tells him. And if you tell him how to resolve his issue he will insist you are stupid for not telling him he is right for what he is complaining about. That my friends is a mark of a true complainer.
If you haven't read my other blog about how to get rid of the habit of complaining, you can read it here.
So anyway, what classifies a person to be emotionally sensitive?
♥ ♥ Emotionally Sensitive Person ♥ ♥
According to Karyn D. Hall, Ph.D., a psychiatrist who wrote the book The Emotionally Sensitive Person,
When you’re emotionally sensitive, you experience emotions more intensely than others. Your feelings of love, joy, happiness, anger, sorrow, and fear are stronger than average. If you aren’t able to manage your emotions, you struggle every day to cope. You sometimes don’t trust yourself because you can’t predict how you’ll react in different situations. Too often, your emotions get the best of you, and you act on them in ways that aren’t helpful in making your life better—sometimes adding more anguish and trouble to your life.
Now doesn't this sound like someone who has trust issues? Or maybe someone who thinks too much and worries over small and insignificant things might be another perfect description. Wait, how about calling them insecure too? No? Lol. Okay I'll call 'em cry babies. Ehehehe. Okay sue me. Perhaps I should learn how to use more humor and wit so people won't be hurt too much when I say something true about people. 
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Hey I'm not excluding myself, I have my own trust issues and emotional sensitivity but I guess it's higher than most people. I only express it wherever I can when it is really extreme (or went over my limit). I air out my pain then do something to resolve it. That's what I do. And no I am not saying I'm better than others, I am not perfect I have my own imperfections. I'm just writing a blog is all. Lol.
Now let's find out what a manipulative person is like.
♣ ♣ A Manipulative Person ♣ ♣
According to Preston Ni, a Professor of Communication Studies,
Psychological manipulation can be defined as the exercise of undue influence through mental distortion and emotional exploitation, with the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.
Doesn't sound pretty does it? I say, it's better to persuade than to manipulate. Using force and devious ways to get anything is clearly not gonna give good results.
(Photo credit/source: Darlene Lancer via psychologytoday.com)
Manipulative people will do everything to get you to do what they want even if it hurts you and other people in the process. Oh but wait, you won't notice that it's hurting you because they talk sweetly and can also use the victim personality attitude to hook and bait you. Oh I should know, I lived under a roof of one. You would never know what hit you until you feel something is terribly terribly wrong somewhere. Everything has a limit so once your limit is reached you'll eventually break free from his/her manipulative hold and poor me attitude.
If you are a strong person, they will have a different style and they may try to manipulate other people against you. Or they can also scare you instead of support you. They will do whatever they can to get you out of where you are because you don't follow what he/she says. How evil can they get eh?
Maybe you should watch this video to find out more about who a manipulative person is.
(Video credit: Isaiah Hankel via YouTube.com)
♣ ♣ What makes people manipulative? ♣ ♣
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For me I think these people are very insecure and weak so they hide it by their need to manipulate other people in order to feel strong and above everyone else. Losing probably makes them feel more weak and small. They always like to win at everything, like they are always right in everything and can make no mistakes. Sounds egotistic too eh?
I don't think this Querlo chat box can help you know if you or anyone else is one of these people. Lol. You only need to answer if you like to win and not lose and that's it.
So anyway going back, Ni says, the "root causes for chronic manipulation are complex and deep-seated. " It's hard to find the reason why someone is how he/she is unless they tell you their life story maybe. Or perhaps meet and ask their family members and friends about them if you're really interested.
How do you detect a cunning and manipulative person though? Well you can read this or this if you don't know anything about it. Basically it says these people find out your weakness then use it against you to get what they want. Ni says it better:
They convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
That's it. And you will also feel like you were forced into a situation/action you wouldn't normally experience or do. Think blackmail.
This is different from simple begging or pleading. This is also not how you sell something to someone. I should know because I am in sales. I am still learning the ropes in high stakes selling so bear with me. Lol.
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If you sell something to someone and you don't have a store or booth that people can see and walk into, it is better to find out what they are looking for first and what they are interested in to know which product will suit them, then you can recommend a product. If they buy it or not will depend on a lot of factors. (Hey wait, I should follow my own advice here! I'm such a good writer. Lol. I need to take action more than just writing stuff.)
People with stores and booths have it a bit easier, people can just walk over and buy what they want if they really like what they find. 
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♥ ♥ What to do with an ♥ ♥
Emotionally Sensitive and/or Manipulative Person
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If someone you know has sensitive emotions or what we locally call "balat-sibuyas" (onion-skinned) and are also manipulative, you cannot and will not be able to change them. It's hard to change yourself, how can you change other people? Only people who want to change will change themselves.
So what do you do about it then? Well for emotionally sensitive people, maybe you should avoid dealing with them as much as possible especially if you are not good with dealing with emotions and too much drama over small stuff. Stop feeding their drama too. I try my best to be compassionate and patient towards them but it's not my strong suit so I'd rather not deal with them to avoid hurting them.
If you, my dear reader, are the emotionally sensitive one, you can read this and this to help yourself.
Being emotionally sensitive is different from being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) okay? An HSP is a so-called gifted person, much like an empath. Yeah I'm getting all metaphysical or esoteric on you guys so lemme get back to my topic.
Manipulators on the other hand are good at faking emotions when they need to. These people are one of the most abusive kinds of people out there. This is how you can deal with them. Watch this video.
(Video credit: Isaiah Hankel via YouTube.com)
After watching the video, I couldn't help but think "No wonder I'm like this". Haha. Hey I love how I grew up with and around several people who are like this. It made me realize how to be a better person because of it. (Uy, positive thinking! Lol. Attitude of gratitude! Haha.) And I can smell a manipulator from a mile away because of it too.
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Okay so that's all I can say about this topic. Hope you learned a lot from me today. I'd like to ask for a donation instead but nah, just kidding! This is my small contribution to make the world a better place. :)
We live in such a wonderful time where almost all the information we need is easy to reach. I just love it.
See you on my next blog!
© Art x Stephanie Rue
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