I was never a watch guy. Actually, let me rephrase -- I was never a watch guy until I bought a Tissot online for giggles (and about $350). That day sort of changed the way I looked at these seemingly archaic wrist appliances. They become a statement about you. They can make you feel awesome. And, perhaps most importantly to Apple, they can stop being a thing you wear and become something you don't want to take on your day without. With all that said, and given my general lack of expertise in horology, I did the only sensible thing I could. I strapped on the $12,000, yellow gold Apple Watch Edition in an incredibly dark room and took it for a spin.