With International Women’s Day right around the corner, it’s worthwhile to celebrate the gains we’ve made and assess where we stand now.

Over the years, the word “feminism” has taken on so much baggage that its meaning has become fuzzy and confusing. All too often, young women believe that feminists hate men, don’t shower, and complain endlessly without taking real action.

If you ask five women in the Millennial Generation whether they’re “feminists,” you will likely get mixed answers. But if you ask the same women whether they support family-friendly workplaces and more women in leadership, you’d probably get a different response.

To clarify the confusion, here are six common myths about feminism.

1. Feminists hate men and reject femininity.

Feminists have developed a bad reputation. Today, young women often believe that feminists hate men, swear off marriage and children, and reject anything traditionally feminine. But in reality, feminism is not about hating the opposite sex or behaving exactly like a man. You can be a feminist and wear high heels. You can be a feminist and bake chocolate chip cookies. At its core, feminism is the fundamental belief that men and women should have equal opportunities to pursue their dreams.

2. Feminists are supposed to defy tradition.

When I was in law school, one of my classmates criticized women who changed their last names after marriage. In her view, every woman who took her husband’s last name was letting the rest of womankind down. I disagreed and believe that women should stop judging other women for their personal choices. Feminism is not about telling anyone what they “should” do – it’s about empowering women with the freedom to forge their own path. Whether a woman wants to run a household or a corporation, she shouldn’t be held back by the negativity and judgment of others.

By Allison O’Kelly

As recent as 2011, the Center for American Progress found that 97 percent of full-time working women were in jobs that typically paid more to men. When President John F. Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act into law on Jun. 10, 1963, women earned 59 cents for every dollar men earned. Earnings in 2013 average 77 cents to every man’s dollar, according to Census Bureau Data. Sadly interesting, because we just aren’t moving the needle much here. But in the last few years new voices and advocates have brought renewed fervor to the conversation: Arianna Huffington’s The Third Metric, Sheryl Sandberg’s call to “lean in” and ask for more, the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act and National Equal Pay Day, proponents of the White House Council on Women and Girls, and on.

The goal here is to keep moving forward with intention. As an outspoken advocate myself for women in the workplace, I think it’s important to empower each other to not only negotiate for more when it comes to salary, but also more, in other ways. Just like Sheryl Sandberg describes asking for pregnancy parking at Google GOOG -1.33% in her book, “Lean In,” the rest of us have to get bold and creative and ask for what we want.

The reality is, if you are producing measurable results at work and haven’t attempted, or even considered, negotiating with your boss for something you want, you are likely cheating yourself.  In advising friends, colleagues and job candidates on finding their ideal work situation, I have provided a few ideas on the subject. Consider these four steps to getting what you want at work:

1. Do the legwork: When preparing to negotiate salary at a new job or in a current position, always come to the table fully briefed. Talk to trusted mentors, read articles and use tools like Salary.com or Pasyscale.com to find out what others in your field, level of experience and industry are making. Also, take into account salary averages for both men and women. Write down specifics and let these facts help design your request.

1. Think outside your salary: Remember, negotiations don’t have to center on salary alone, so think about what you need to work smarter and at your most productive. Would having the ability to work from home a few days a month save on commute costs and prevent you from taking time off of work other days (to be home for the cable guy, run errands or go to appointments)? Or, are you a morning person and shifting your day two hours earlier make you more productive? Think of alternatives in terms of benefits and your employer may thank you for it.

1. Be realistic: When negotiating, choose your requests wisely and as they make sense for the culture and your organization. If you are an accountant, it’s probably not logical to ask for an alternative schedule during tax season. However, other times of year, this might be a completely acceptable request. Think logically, and remember, something completely out of reason will make you look unprofessional and do more harm than good in gaining footing for negotiation.

1. Keep it professional: When it comes time to discuss terms, keep all conversations within the context of your expertise, experience and past accomplishments. I see this time and again, and almost always with women—in an effort to remain humble, women will sometimes make excuses or back down, just as they are starting the negotiation process. Instead of presenting all the reasons they deserve a raise, they will dance around what they are really asking for. When approaching your boss, don’t ask for a raise “because your child’s tuition went up” or “your husband lost his job.” Those reasons don’t constitute more money from the company’s perspective – your professional achievements do. Present metrics and deliverables with pride. The more professional the conversation, the more likely your boss will be to accommodate you.

This is an interesting and encouraging piece on Americans and negotiation from Forbes. For women especially, it’s so important to remember that if you don’t ask, you won’t receive, and it can really add up—some experts say up to $2 million over a lifetime. A sobering thought, considering the money is within reach and just not being grabbed. This isn’t the workforce we want for our daughters in a few years, so let’s begin to raise the bar now.

Please share, have you, or are you considering negotiating for more? What’s your best negotiation tactic?

Allison O’Kelly is founder/CEO of Mom Corps, a national talent acquisition and career development firm with a focus on flexibility. Learn more at MomCorps.com or connect with her on Twitter @AllisonOKelly and @MomCorps.