A Simple Friend has never seen you cry.
A Real Friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.
A Simple Friend doesn't know your parent's first names.
A Real Friend has their phone numbers in the address book. 
A Simple Friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A Real Friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
A Simple Friend hates it when you call after he/she has gone to bed.
A Real Friend asks you why you took so long to call.
A Simple Friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A Real Friend seeks to help you with your problems.
A Simple Friend wonders about your romantic history.
A Real Friend could blackmail you with it.
A Simple Friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A Real Friend opens your refrigerator and helps herself.
A Simple Friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A Real Friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.
A Simple Friend expects you to always be there for them.
A Real Friend expects to always be there for you.