Iroas was a village boy, born and raised in the village Johnsonville, Virginia. As a child he was often bullied by the kids in his school because he was under 4 feet tall until 6th grade. Living with an acute case of dwarfism was tough on little Iroas, especially because he was required to do a lot of work around the farm that he lived on with his dad. Ever since his mother passed away, his dad had said very few words and Iroas barely ever saw him. Unlike most stories, Iroas's dad was not a drunk, rather, he was addicted to methane gas. He kept his farts in an airtight jar and often spent time out in the fields trying to inhale cow farts. He barely ever drank alcohol and had only one bottle of southern comfort on the top shelf of the pantry. Iroas had only two friends. One was the father of the meanest bully in school and the other was Gerald, a socially awkward, insecure, slightly autistic boy who just so happened to be 6'2" in 6th grade and 165 lbs. He could bench press 200 lbs and squat 250. He was literally nearly physically perfect. He had a handsome face and a very muscular body. His only physical flaw was his legs were flimsy little sticks that weren't as strong as his upper body. Iroas and Gerald often spent time in the outskirts of town talking about home life and school. Gerald was an orphan and lived in the pub with Iroas's other friend, Ardy. Ardy was a middle aged man with alcoholism who also happened to own the pub. He was the biological father of James, the big school bully. It was a warm summer night. Gerald and Iroas went to the pub, after a detention for something they didn't do, to say hi to Ardy and get some tomato juice. Ardy had made some bad investments and bought 40,000 cans of tomato juice and couldn't afford to buy any other kind of juice. That being, he invented many new drinks using tomato juice and vodka. This made the pub very successful and now he only has 25,000 more cans and more money than he began with. Ardy's brother was a multi-millionaire professional dreidel  player who left Johnsonville to move to Nashville, Tennessee to find more competition. Ardy eventually sold all of the tomato juice and then retired to create a brand called "Ardy's" that sells tomato juice flavored alcoholic drinks. Ardy became a millionaire, just like his brother. and took Iroas and Gerald to his mansion where they lived a long(ish), happy life. THE END!