Who Was It With? 

A boy I grew up with named Travv...

When Did You Realize It was Love? 

When all I ever did was text him and think about him.

What Did It Feel Like? 

It felt amazing. It was like the world revolved around us. And only us mattered. He made me feel like I was the only girl in the world that he could see.

What Happened Next? 

We texted constantly. We were each other's best friends and told each other absolutely everything. He was like my personal therapist, and vice versa. We never kept anything from each other. He told me everything I didn't already know. Which wasn't much considering he practically lived in my house from the time I was four to the time I was 13. My brother found out and freaked out. And I wasn't aloud to see him. But that didn't matter. He called me his Juliet.. and he said that we were Forever. We secretly saw each other. I visited him at work and he made me feel like I was floating. He told me he loved me. And I told him I loved him too of course. Because I truly did. But I always kept my guard up. I grew up with him and knew absolutely everything about him. And he was a player and a very bad kid when he was younger. He got expelled from our school. But that all changed. He got a job and straightened his act. But of course that didn't matter to my mom. My grandma was the only one that believed it was ok. We were in love. But after about two years we started not talking as much..and then he got a girlfried... which just happened to be one of my very good friends, who I told everything about he and I to..We're "just friends" right now. But I am still madly in love with him. I don't trust boys now, I keep my wall up at all times, and it is very obvious to other boys.. I can't even keep a relationship with another boy for more then a month now because alls I think about is Travv. and what if he wants to give me another chance. And what if it really was my fault that we don't talk very much anymore. What if I made him not love me. All of these questions haunt me every day now. My best friend Amp tells me its his loss. And he did love me. And probably still does. and that his relationship with the other girl won't last. I get a flood of emotions, good and bad, whenever I hear his name. But I will always know, that it was all worth it. And I do not regret one thing. I don't regret any of the trouble I got in. And the one time he kissed me. I do not regret that feeling. My entire body went warm and fuzzy and butterflies gathered in my stomach. I don't regret how easy conversation was with him. How we never ran out of things to say. I do not regret his hugs. How warm and safe they were. How safe he made me feel. And someday I hope he will catch me from this ever lasting fall.. A day where the cold harsh winter won't be my escape, where he once again will be my escape.

Lessons Learned

• Go for it. Live life on the edge. You WILL regret living life on the safe side. You only have one life to live. So do it up.
• Remember you always have the choice to say no.
• Living life on the edge is fun. And I will admit that once you pass over the edge to danger side, it is even more fun. But it is not smart. It is dangerous. It has severe consequences. And it can even end your life. There is always a limit to things.
• REMEMBER YOUR LIMIT.