Being pained by someone that you care the most will put your self-esteem into the deepest abyss of the sea. Learning the hurtful truth can put your focus upside down. Being emotional and angry can bring the situation in its worst course of action. Dealing with pain can be in different shapes and forms. Maybe, I was wrong to deal with pain with woes and temperament. I cannot put my mind into one goal. Being impulsive to every decisions I made. My heart is heaving for all the trouble I open. No amount of adventure can kill the overwhelming melancholy I feel.

On the verge of sinking down to deep paranoia, focusing seems to be the hardest thing to do at this point of time. I am sad and lonely. I am tired of my day job, wanting to quit immediately. Start a new career, establish to a new company and have new friends. I am stress out with all the things running through my mind, I am clueless on what to do or what not to do. My energy is losing from my grip. I cannot breath properly, my chest is always in pain and hand are trembling with fear. My eyes are gloomy, near tears and lost the sparkle of love. I miss the adventurous lifestyle where the world seems very lively and full of happiness.

Dealing with several problems at the same time can put you down. Sinking you down to your own graveyard of darkness. Failure, rejection and negative thoughts hamper my decision making to perplexity. Acid attacks are now often, too much sleep to forget and overwhelming absent mindedness. I miss my life when I was at the top of the world. Screaming my heart out and feeling the love all over the place. Right now, all I can feel is the absurdity of pain, determination under my feet and spirit fleeing apart from my own body. Sadness that I never felt before.