It’s March already and the weather in Pakistan, instead of getting warmer, is still chilly.

This is quite unprecedented. Of course, as usual, the weather experts have all those typical explanations to offer, mentioning high pressure there that generated cold winds here, and all that.

But the truth lies somewhere else. A truth many already know about and have written extensively on.

It is HAARP! The United States’ High Frequency Active Auroral Research Program – an ionosphere research programme jointly funded by the US Air Force and Navy, the US Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency, University of Alaska and the Kilingon High Command.

A dissident American scientist, Dr Chandra Naomi, studying the effects of HAARP on the environment.

Yes, the same programme that caused the 2005 Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans, the 2011 Japanese earthquake, the 2013 Hurricane Sandy, and the 2014 PTI Tsunami.

Before you dismiss me as being some kind of a conspiracy nut, consider this: It was people like me who were the first to suggest that there were rouge American agents roaming the streets of Pakistan; that the CIA was recruiting polio workers in Waziristan; and that the earth was actually flat and hollow.

An image from the Hubble Space Telescope that NASA doesn’t want the world to see.

People laughed at people like me, but not all people, only people serving the interests of people trying to break up Pakistan and its people, and turn them all from being true keepers of the faith to becoming liberal scum. So you see, people, what kind of people I am talking about, even though you are not that kind of people, are you, people?

Now also consider this: I have on purpose used the word people over and over again in the preceding paragraph. Count the times I have used this word. Nine times. Now divide nine with 777 and then multiply the resultant number with 365 and you’ll get the figure of 666. If you didn’t get this number then you are liberal scum.

If you did, then welcome to reality. And that is: Satan is in control of the United Nations!

An old file photo of the current Secretary-General of the United Nations, Ban Ki-moon. In his youth he was said to be a member of a secret South Korean death cult called the Knights of The Dark Church of Sulu.

I’m sure some of you must be squirming and itching to ridicule me, but remember it was me who first suggested that the CIA was using fake polio vaccination campaigns in Fata to gather intelligence in the area; and that Misbahul Haq was working against the interests of Pakistan cricket; and that man never walked on the moon (it was all an elaborate hoax).

It is a conspiracy to label men like me as conspiracy nuts because the powers that be want to hide the truth from the masses; a truth, rather truths, that can expose the large, all-encompassing conspiracies that the powers th