Many years ago, I experienced a sudden loss of a dear friend. He committed suicide.
I would not let myself cry. I thought the tears would not end.
I would not let myself hurt. The pain was too much.
The sadness felt so bottomless, I believed if it surfaced, it could never end.
Instead, I cloaked myself in numbness, locking my heart in a frozen cell, left for dead.
My soul, my angels, the spirit of my friend, would have none of this!
In time, I began to cry. And then the tears passed. I cried again, and the tears melted my heart. I felt sadness, fear, and yes, even anger. Then the feelings changed to something more powerful:
Love.
Underneath it all was Love.
Grief, saying goodbye and hello, change, even the transition of death is not easy. But fear not the feelings, the lows and highs. Because, through it, underneath it, enduring always, is Love.
Only Love.
Blessings to you, my sweet friend. Feel your way home to love.
