"No, really, I'm OK to drive."
--I'm wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I am going home with.

"I'm not used to these darts."
--I'm not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I am this bombed.

"You get this one, next round is on me."
--We won't be here long enough to get another round.

"I'll get this one, next one is on you."
--Happy hour is about to end....now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be $4.50 a pop.

"I haven't seen you around here for a long time."
--You stuck up little -----, too good for your old friends??

"Hey, where is that friend of yours?"
--I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position.

"Lets get out of here."
--I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that Harley guy's helmet.

"Ever try a body shot?" (female to male)
--If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I'll do to you on the ride home?

"I don't feel well, let's go home." (female)
--You are paying more attention to your friends than me.

"I don't feel well, lets go home." (male)
--I'm horny.