It's the ultimate metal-band nightmare. You're opening for Slayer, and the fierce children who make up their crowd hate you. They're throwing large objects at your head. You know you're going to die.

 

So why is it that, coming offstage at Red Rocks in Denver on the Clash of the Titans tour, Alice In Chains look so jazzed? More than that. They look positively euphoric.

 

"That was great, it was so funny," enthuses vocalist Layne Staley, and he means it. When that plastic gallon jug came careening onto the stage (splashing many disgruntled fans with purple punch during its descent), Layne laughed.

 

"We were kinda asking for it," admits drummer Sean Kinney. "We were yelling back to kids who were heckling us."

 

"That red-headed girl, I was gonna throw the mike at her," says guitarist Jerry Cantrell. "That must have been the ugliest chick I ever saw in my life."

 

"And it was daytime," says Sean. "So you can duck. At night you never see the bottles coming!"

 

"It's better than people just sitting there, not knowing whether to like us or not," Layne adds, a bit more seriously. "If they love us, that's great. If they hate us, it's just as fine."

 

It's that attitude, in part, that made the Clash of the Titans bands - Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax - choose Alice In Chains as their opening band. The other reason is that heavy, grungy Seattle sound that's sending the Facelift record up the charts. (Oh, yeah, Red Rocks had just as many folks cheering as booing. It was a noisy show, okay?) Not that they've seen any cash from it yet.

 

"I had enough money to buy a skateboard!" offers Layne.

 

"I had enough money to buy - a cheap hooker for 20 bucks," quips Sean. "I'm the drummer, so I get paid less than everybody else."

 

"The drummer gets to sit down," explains Layne.

 

In the meantime, they've been touring their brains out. Playing their hometown on the Clash tour, Alice In Chains got no hecklers, yet "Seattle was the worst," groans Sean.

 

"It was too stressful, " agrees Jerry. "We had people that we went to fourth grade with, screaming, 'Hey man! I used to jam with you! Get me a pass, man! Hey, you stole my lunch money once! You owe me!'"

 

And then there were all those other cities where nobody ever heard of them. And all those bands that gave them opening gigs for a week or so. Alice In Chains took every one.

 

"Poison, Slayer, Megadeth, Anthrax, the Bulleboys, Tesla, Great White, Almighty, Warrant..." laughs Jerry. "We're one of the few rock bands that can actually say that they played with both Poison and Slayer."

 

"Poison were great to us," says bassist Mike Starr. "But I hate Warrant, they make me sick."

 

"We were playing with them, one time," says Jerry, "the bass player was eating lunch with us and their whole song was being played in soundcheck - on tape."

 

"We went to the record release party for the second record and they made a big statement about how they used to use sampling," adds Mike.

 

"So now they have a keyboard player with all the samples programmed on the keyboard," says Sean.

 

"The thing about playing live, " thinks Jerry, "is, you're supposed to hear some bad notes and some lousy chords. You don't pay for a concert ticket to go listen to an album."

 

The authentic, no-bullshit vibe of Clash of the Titans is much more their style. Though they've gotten to be buds with all the headliners, the Alice guys have become especially close to Slayer, one of their idols for years.

 

"They're so cool, man," says Jerry. "The coolest guys in the world, coming around, complimenting us, partying with us."

 

"They're one of my all time favorite bands, since I was a kid," adds Layne, "so to be on tour with them is a major dream fulfilled."

 

Ask 'em about their other dreams for the band, what would make them happy - and you won't get a straight answer.

 

"If I just had bigger, firmer titties," laughs Jerry.

 

"If my syphilis was gone," says Sean. "And if we could just spend more time in L.A."

 

"If I was rich," says Jerry.

 

In their couple of days off, they did make some extra cash appearing in a new Matt Dillon movie, Singles, that shot on location in Seattle. (They also recorded ten songs for the soundtrack.).

 

"We got paid every day for working, like an actor's rate, "says Sean.

 

But they're not complaining. Really.

 

"You gotta recoup your album costs," says Jerry.

 

"We get money every month and we get our rent paid. We didn't rush out and start buying any leather chaps or anything," grins Sean, who, like his bandmates, is never seen in anything but scuzzy shorts. "We just keep the money for the band."

 

"Just spurs," quips Jerry. "We got the spurs but no leather chaps. But we're working up to it. Maybe next tour."//????

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