We all like butter. We all wish we weren’t programmed by society to not just eat melted butter with a spoon. What if I told you there was an easy way to get around that mental block?!?
Friends and acquaintances, I present to you:
The Artichoke: Nature’s Butter Spoon.
Artichokes are those vegetables that look a bit like a pinecone, and you have never had one because you have absolutely no idea how to eat a pinecone. This is understandable. With their little pokey tips and tough exteriors, the pineychoke is the vegetable emo with a heart of gold, which we will get to soon enough.
What do we need?
Artichokes
Butter
Well that was an easy list to make.
How do we get through to our emo vegetables?
1. The artichoke you get from the store is pretty much ready for cooking. If it has a long stem, you may be happier trimming it down to 1-2 inches.
2. Rinse the artichoke to remove any grocery store dirt and emo makeup. Keep a bit of water in the leaves, as we are steaming this veg.
3. Put your soaked artichoke in a bowl, mostly covered with plastic wrap. Leave a little gap so as not to create a veggie steam bomb.
4. Microwave for 10 minutes. Be careful, it’s going to be darn hot.
5. Melt some butter in a little bowl, about half a stick per veg.
Ok, we’ve created this food. Now how do we eat it?
Your emochoke is hot hot hot, so handle with care. With a fork or cautious fingers, begin to peel off the leaves.
The leaf is teardrop-shaped, with a lil pokey spike at the tip. Hold this end; don’t get poked. Skinside down, inside up. Use this clever natural spoon to scoop your real food, the butter.
Bite the leaf about halfway up, but don’t sever it. You’re scraping off the inside (the top) and leaving the skin (the bottom). Do this to all the leaves, rejoicing in your veg and butter.
Now here’s the secret special part that I alluded to before: THE HEART.
Once you eat all the leaves and you can’t imagine your life getting any better, all you have left is the stem covered in what we’ll call the articone’s emo bangs. Scraping lightly with a spoon, remove the hair to reveal the tender heart that our emo veg had been hiding all along. Drip some butter on, eat it with a spoon.
The whole experience is more fulfilling if you listen to My Chemical Romance or Green Day throughout.
