WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (the actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up
and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned
and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open,
and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda
replied that she'd been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding
her brains in for over an hour. The man called the paramedics, who broke
into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove
her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had
a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister
had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot,
and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought
it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to
hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.

And, yes, Linda is a blonde.