Coinye West to Blame for Greek Economic Crash
Did Kanye West Crypto Currency Tank the Greek Economy?
The Greek Economic Crisis of 2015 is by far the worst economic crash the modern world has seen in recent times. ATM machines were emptied last week as lines of Greece’s population rushed to cash out their life savings, in fear that any hesitation would leave them financially doomed. Banks are now all closed and have been since Monday morning, only a day after the Greek Government announced they are to remain closed in fear of running bone dry. Strict limits have now been placed on ATM machines throughout the country, now only allowing a maximum withdraw of 60 a day. But who is to blame for this economic disaster?
The Greek Government has blamed overspending and poor preparation for the 2008 financial crisis. However the people are smart enough to see through such an obvious, and poorly fabricated excuse and are fully aware it is nothing more than a lie. They now demand answers and have set their suspicious gaze upon the finance minister himself,Yanis Varoufakis.
A local business owner stands against the door of his now closed store, his back pocket bulged with $1400 in cash he recently extracted from his bank. “It fills me with rage…they try and feed us lies and officially blame overspending, like we are stupid. They are trying play us as fools. We are not Fools!” Said Borris Yasfez, a local business owner in response to the crises. “People are smart, we see their bullshit for what it is. They can’t fool us. We are all hearing the rumors circulating, everyone in Government is silently pointing fingers at that rat Yanis Varoufakis.”
Out of fear of riots breaking out, similar to the 2008 crises, Government officials have now broken their silence as of July 4th and have publically admitted to the cause of their countries financial collapse. “We will not continue to lie to our countries people, there is only one culprit to blame and it’s Varoufakis! We all warned him not to do it, that it was an unstable investment, and he decided to go off on his own and gamble our countries money on what he called a sure thing!” Declared Georgios Provopoulos, Governor of the Bank of Greece.
Immediate investigations has now confirmed Georgios Provopoulos’s accusations that the collapse of Greeks Economy was indeed the root effect of the world’s worst economic investment plan.
In 2014 Crypto Currency became a news sensation after the underground webs black market The Silk Road, an online market for drugs, guns and hackers hosted on the dark net, was shut down by the United States F.B.I. Crypto Currency is an untraceable internet currency generated by computers which answer extremely difficult math problems. BitCoin, the more popular crypto currency, value soared from $1 USD per BitCoin to over $2000 USD per BitCoin in less than 6 years turning early investors into millionaires. The new media attention quickly attracted new followers who instantly began investing in the new currency, with hopes of striking investment gold.
This fresh wave of popularity spurred many new followers with plans to begin their own Crypto Currency platforms including David P. McEnery. McEnery gathered a team of developers and designed a script based Crypto Currency which they named Coinye West, after American Hip Hop Artist and Self Labeled “Super Genius”, Kanye West.
“I just wanted to save our country, I wanted to be written in the history books as Greeks Savior…I didn’t know…I was the fool” Said Yanis Varoufakis in a private interview with IFLScience.org. “It seemed like such a good idea, all the money people made off BitCoin, I wanted to do the same with Coinye. It only made sense that the value of Coinye would quickly inflate just like Kanye West’s ego. I mean… Kanye’s ego is the size of Jupiter, so Coinye’s value must follow the same rules. I invested nearly every penny we borrowed from our private investors…”
Unfortunately Coinye West wasn’t even given a chance. Within days of announcing the new Coinye, McEnery’s development team received a cease and desist order from Kanye West’s lawyers, stating the Crypto Currency constituted as trademark infringement, cyberpiracy and dilution. In a countermove to avoid a lawsuit McEnery’s team changed the name from “Coinye West” to “Coinye” and replaced the coins image of Kanye West with an image of a fish that looked like Kanye, a reference to the South Park episode “Gay Fish”. This also did not please Kanye’s legal team and they soon filed their lawsuit against the creators of the coin. This prompted the liquidation sale of all holdings and disbandment of the Coinye West project, rendering Yanis Varoufakis’s investment of Greek’s barrowed money worthless.
Since the reality of the cause behind Greek’s economic fall, the people are left furious. Half of the population now placing their blame at Vargoufaki’s poor inventing abilities, while the other half directly blame Kanye West. IFLScience attempted to reach Kanye West, but his team is refusing to comment at this time. But at least Yanis Varoufakis has learned the important lesson that a large ego and extravagant packaging usually just masks the fact that the product is a worthless piece of shit.
