Positive thinking sucks!

Positive thinkers suck!

They just seem to always be smiling.

They jump out of bed at 6:00 a.m. singing and you feel like giving them a swift karate chop in the “Vulcan grip” area.

They’re not bad people, but when you ask them the secret to their happiness, you usually get that lame and unactionable answer:

“I’m an optimist. I always keep positive thoughts in my head”

Gag!

That does nothing for you.

When you are stuck in traffic and already 15 minutes late, you are not thinking positively.

When you get home and the house looks like Chuck E. Cheese threw up on it, you most certainly are not looking for the benefits.

There has to be more to it.

Thinking Positively Is Too Hard – What To Do Instead

A hidden trick exists to changing a negative mind immediately.  The following list will reveal it.

Some will improve your health.

Others will increase your wealth.

Some will make you laugh. Some will make you think.

Some will be simple and some will be deep.

Some will make you forget what you were thinking about.

The goal is to get your mind on a whole new route.

Anthony Robbins calls it pattern interrupt.

Negative thinking is a habit. You are not born being a negative thinker.  You had to learn it over the years. Now it becomes a natural response.

I want to break that natural response.  The goal is to shake things up. Stir the pot. Get out of the comfort zone, and any other cliché phrases you can think of.

This post is not the typical post you would normally see on CYT.  I did this purposely.

We can choose to deliberately interrupt our negative thinking patterns by frequently shockingourselves!

You will have 87 special ways you can immediately interrupt your negative thinking habit before it takes hold on you.

Print it.  Highlight your favorites.  And when you feel like punching someone, instead pull out your trusty list and put one or more into action immediately.

WARNING: May Cause Hysterical Laughter

If you are at work, you may want to read this later. CYT cannot be held accountable for conditions including but not limited to:

• Laughing out loud
• Disturbing Co-workers
• Milk squirting from nose
• Wetting of pants
• Falling out of chair
• Busting a gut

Or

• Splitting of sides

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. PROCEED WITH CAUTION.

87 Pattern Interrupts For Positive Thinking Habits

1. Kiss somebody and try to exchange your gum.
2. Laugh out loud in a public restroom so it echoes.
3. Eat some candy while waiting in line.
4. Pet an animal you are afraid of.
5. Say thank you for anything.
6. Compliment someone you know needs to hear it.
7. Slide down a banister.
8. Plant something.
9. Sprint as fast as you can like Phoebe Buffay (YouTube it).
10. Take a silly picture.
11. Prank someone with a short temper.
12. Play your favorite song – LOUDLY!
13. Read a book and tell someone else what you read placing yourself in the story.
14. Spin until you are dizzy.
15. Blow bubbles – Gum. Soapy wand. Bathtub (your choice).
16. Walk in nature.
17. Watch a funny movie.
18. Call a friend while running a lawn mower.
19. Plan a vacation.
20. Hug someone — preferably a stranger.
21. Attempt a cartwheel.
22. Adopt a pet.
23. Dance naked to Richard Simmons’ “Sweatin to the Oldies.”
24. Sleep naked on silk sheets.
25. Swim naked.
26. Ride a bike naked.
27. Basically – do anything you would normally do, but naked.
28. Bake something and pass it out to your neighbors.
29. Go to the zoo and insist that you must be caged before “IT” happens again on a full moon.
30. Go to the museum and convince people you have time traveled.
31. Get a tattoo in an awkward place.
32. Inhale from a helium balloon and order a pizza.
33. Watch Sesame Street and play along.
34. Take a nap on a park bench.
35. Get a massage.
36. Jump in a pool fully clothed.
37. Do push-ups while trying to play the harmonica.
38. Arm wrestle your neighbor.
39. Whistle show tunes during your next meeting.
40. Meditate.
41. Sing kareo… karioak…carryok…sing in public at a bar.
42. Buy me something.
43. Buy yourself something.
44. Get a giant frozen yogurt bowl and eat without a spoon.
45. Try on expensive clothes and call everyone “Dahling” in your best I’m-better-than-you-because-I-am-so-glamorous voice.
46. Test drive a new car and make them buy you lunch. They do it EVERY time!
47. Let it out – Go in your closet and SCREAAAAM!
48. Pinch yourself to see if you’re dreaming. If not, give yourself permission to do so freely.
49. Read anything by Louise L. Hay.
50. Bowl with your opposite hand and hold a slice of pizza in the other.
51. Get a manicure – guys and gals!
52. Walk barefoot in the grass.
53. Brush your hair – proven to be relaxing.
54. Play Words With Friends…. WITHOUT CHEATING! You know who you are.
55. Have a Jam Session – play an instrument with high school buddies.
56. Skip rocks at the lake. If you’re not near a lake, skip dinner plates at the park.
57. Reread the popular posts on the right.
58. Dump negative friends.
59. Get acupuncture. Have no idea if it works, but I guarantee when they bring out the needles, you will have forgotten all about your troubles.
60. Watch someone else get acupuncture – better.
61. Paint something. No brushes. Just hands. Spray paint counts. Just be a fast runner if you have a passion for graffiti.
62. Listen to ambient sounds – those soft relaxing tones that lower your brain wave frequency.
63. Go to the pet store and hold something slimy.
64. Have faith that all is well.
65. Take a long hot bath.
66. Turn off your cell phone – miracle drug right there.
67. Ignore others opinions and start valuing your own.
68. Overcome a fear – do something you are afraid to do.
69. Hang out at the library and scream “NORM!” as each person walks in (showing my age again).
70. Break something — cheap.
71. Go through a drive-thru and order for here.
72. Challenge your negative thoughts for validity.
73. Email me and I will personally send you more!

What To Do Next

Emotions can easily get the best of you.

But letting go, getting silly and purposefully feeling good is a lot more fun.

This little list has no power if you do not use it.

You can create your own list and I would highly recommend it.

You do not have to be a victim to your negative thinking habits. Now that you know how they work, destroy them.

They do not serve you or anyone else.

I could sum it all in 6 words:

Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.