Confidence
Confidence is a really personal thing that isn’t the same for everyone. Different people have different levels of confidence, but there are some signs of a confident person which can give insight into where confidence comes from. Even if you’re not naturally confident, there are a number of ways you can build on your confidence over time.
Confidence is a feeling that you think you are capable of doing something. It maybe make you optimistic and pleasing. It maybe a plus for you to enjoy doing thing and enjoy life. But confidence is not the feeling that you think you are better than others. That is crazy not confidence.
Confidence is a pretty broad term and can be difficult to define as it’s so personal. Most people see confidence as having a belief in yourself, another person or an idea. When a person is confident, they are showing that they have faith in their talents, abilities and personal strength.Having confidence can have a really positive impact on your day to day life, as well as your ability to achieve the things you want to do. The cool thing about confidence is that there is no official measure of a person’s confidence; if you feel confident then you probably are.
"Have confidence!" is one of the most essential pieces of advice you'll receive in life that makes no sense if you've never done it. You know what confident people look like, the advantages they get, and that it's something worth emulating. How do you get there, though?
How to own it and be totally confident, all of the time.
1) Get out of your head!
When you stop engaging in the present moment and begin to think about how you look, sound, feel, smell, etc., you're creating an immediate disconnect. Whether you're disconnecting from a conversation or general experience, the effect is the same: You immediately lose confidence.
This loss of confidence creates an energetic wave that is felt by everyone in the same room, interacting with you or listening to you speak.
It took me some time to understand this concept myself, but it's amazing how someone else's perception of and connection to you can change the instant that you disengage with the present moment and go into your head. It makes it harder for them to connect to your message or to you, leaving them uncertain and uninterested.
The trick to living in the present moment is constant practice. When you catch yourself engaging in a viscous thought cycle rather than the present moment (or the person you're with), use your senses to gently guide you back. Speak, take in the smells, notice the textures that you can feel.
People that appear totally cool and collected, they are 100 percent engaged in the present moment.
2) Own it. Whatever "it" is.
The second way to create instant and unshakable confidence is to totally own it. Whether it's your opinions, emotions, feelings, words or choice of dessert, just own it. Don't give a single thought to what anyone else would think of what you're doing.
You're you, you want what you want and you do what you do.
No apologies. No explanation. Just own it.
This concept is easy to grasp in terms of ordering whatever you want off the menu or picking a movie, but what about your feelings, emotions and experiences?
For the longest time I struggled to own my personality, my view of the world, my way of thinking and my feelings. Not only did I lack confidence, I was stressed, uncomfortable and completely miserable trying to "fit in" with the rest of the world.
I can tell you from experience, it's a waste of precious time and energy.
If you're feeling sad or moody, just own it. Be sad, be moody. Are you nervous as hell?Own it. Tell everyone that you're nervous as hell! It stops the process of entering your head dead in it's tracks.
Before I was practicing the art of owning it, I used to get extremely nervous going to networking events, especially the ones where you have to introduce yourself! There were so many times that I was so lost in my head and fighting my feelings that when I sat back down after introducing myself, I honestly couldn't remember if I said my name right. So instead of pretending that I was anything less than I was in that moment, I just told people, "I'm not very good at this 'speaking in front of people thing' so just bare with me!"
You know what I got? Smiles, applause and real connection to everyone in the room instead of the typical glazed over stares and uninterested faces. I showed them I was a real person the second that I chose to own my feelings. Being totally okay with whatever emotions, sensations or feelings you're experiencing in any given moment results in the appearance of total confidence.
It also allows you to out your feelings which weakens their power over you and allows you to just "party with them" as my mentor Josh Pais says.
Ever heard someone do what I just described? Say that they're nervous and not good at public speaking, yet they make it look so easy that you think they're lying? They're owning it, and that is what gives them the confidence that you see.
3) Just. Be. You.
This is similar to the last step, but hear me out. When you honor who you really are, you will do things like wear the clothes that you really love... this in turn makes you feel comfortable, and that produces confidence.
Have you ever dressed up in a fancy suit or some clothes that aren't your normal style? Did you feel uncomfortable the entire time? I bet you did. That triggers your mind to run wild with thoughts that do nothing but zap your confidence and make you feel like crap.
By honoring who you are and what you truly prefer in life, you're creating an environment for confidence. You're allowing yourself to be comfortable and express yourself. In turn, you attract the right people, opportunities and more into your life. When the right people and opportunities come along, you feel confident because things are easy. They work for you and your personality.
Don't ever pretend to be someone or something you're not! Just be you. You are amazing. You are unique. You will be so much happier and more confident when you just settle into who you are.
Thank you
