If sending your enemies a load of horse poo is too extreme, you can now also send them a bag of sweet, tasty gummy dicks, along with a bold-type message encouraging them to go ahead and eat that bag of dicks.

This innovative, important and invaluable service is provided by dicksbymail.com. $15 plus shipping will earn you the right to send a bag of sugary dicks to the enemy (or friend) of your choice. The site also has a friendly reminder about their service: “It’s not meant to be a threat or a way to bully. If you are sending this with the intent to ruin someones day, then maybe its you who needs to eat a bag of dicks.“