So, the talk about getting cows and goats has already begun, which clearly signals the nearing of Bakra Eid. It is indeed the most exciting and thrilling time of the year. After all, if witnessing a mass murder of cute furry animals isn’t a real life thriller, then what is it?

1. Expectation: I will get the healthiest animal in town.

Reality: Can’t afford anything other than a murdal bakra

2. Expectation: I will keep a safe distance from the animals

Reality: Can’t resist those furry animals. It’s my newly found soul mate.

3. Expectation: I will make sure to stay out of goat and cow sh*t.

Reality: Sh*t everywhere. Even on my shoes.

4. Expectation: I will wake up early on Eid Day. Slaughter the bakra as tidily as possible. No ugly bloodshed.

Reality: There is blood everywhere. EVERY. WHERE.

5. Expectation: Get it done quickly. The quicker it’s done, the less uglier it is.

Reality: WHERE IS THE BUTCHER???

The butcher just slaughtered the animal, left it in a pool of blood and disappeared.

6. Expectation: I will distribute the meat to all the hungry people in town.

Reality: Mom wants to fill the deep freezer to its full capacity.

7. Expectation: I am going to eat delicious Barbeques, kalejis, botis. YUMMM!!!

Reality: Mom, I want chicken!

No, thank you. I am not hungry anymore.

8. Expectation: Look good on Eid. Celebrate it!

Reality: I want to get out of these blood stained clothes!

9. Expectation: Enjoy Eid. It’s a great time of the year.

Reality: Ab aur kitna gosht reh gaya hai?

10. When you receive a tray from the neighbor or a relative…

Expectation: It must be Biryani. Please God, let it be chicken biryani!

Reality: Ew it’s Gosht!!! RAW. MEAT.

11. Expectation: Eid day – the aroma of Barbeques, biryanis and tikka botis.

Reality: The air is filled with a disgusting smell that is actually a mixture of animal blood, waste, “spare parts” of cows and goats AND BARBEQUES.

How many of these things can you relate to?