Feeling Alone

I feel alone
mostly when I’m
surrounded by people
A crowd
I miss you most
when I sit among them
I can’t stop imagining
You sitting beside me
holding my hand
as I always wanted
as I always dreamed
My family gathered
Cousins, relations
Brothers, my sister
niece & nephews
I miss you most
when I laugh
as I should
for what they say
sitting with them….
Imagining you beside me
holding my hand
together with my family
I feel how it would’ve been
I see how we would’ve laughed
together…
holding hands…
It hurts, more than you know
I hold it tight
the mask I wear
Smiling, laughing
happy face
I hold it tight
So I don’t
let them see
what lies behind…
my face of tears…
I feel alone,
I do…