This post is very unusual. I rarely tell or share what I feel about my current situation.

I always tell myself that all things are possible as long as I am not giving up. It is okay to surrender but it doesn't mean I am losing hope or giving up.

Giving up is never been my option. I rest, think, calm myself and continue.

My father is a dialysis patient due to kidney failure. I need to work hard and look for other source of income to finance his medication. My total income is never been enough to settle the bills even there is an assistance from our health card and government charity. I ended up borrowing from relatives, friends and financial institution resulting to deep financial trouble.

I am crying everytime that I have no money on hand hours before his dialysis. I have to lie of paying a friend a week after even if I don't have money to pay him. My integrity is starting to deplete.

I came up with an idea of having a business. The first week of operation was very successful. But again, faith is testing me. Typhoon came and destroy what I have started.

I cried and asked. Why me? Am I really bad to experience this? No answer from above. Just a sun starting to shine again. I guess, it tells me that as long as the sun is shining there is an opportunity to try again.

I am not strong as they think. I just keep on telling myself to never never never give up.