10 Ways to TOTALLY NAIL Starbucks For That Godless Red Christmas Cup

 

     

Starbucks recently unveiled new all-red "Holiday" cups that don't feature anything expressly Christmas or "Christ" related, and this guy who totally speaks for all Christians is PISSEDand wants Christians to STRIKE BACK by tricking Starbucks into writing "Merry Christmas" on the cups. Here's his plan to totally STICK IT TO STARBUCKS:

 

1.  Go into Starbucks, order a coffee, and tell them your name is "Merry Christmas" -- then they'll have to write "Merry Christmas" on the cup! Pay for the coffee and take a photo of yourself holding it and post it online.

 

2.  Repeat this in as many different Starbucks as you can. For added impact, buy MULTIPLE coffees and ask them to write "Merry Christmas" on all of them.

 

3.  Be sure to buy the biggest sized coffees so "MERRY CHRISTMAS" shows up larger.

 

4.  Keep posting pics of yourself holding the Starbucks Cups -- if we work together, we can FILL ALL OF SOCIAL MEDIA with nothing but pics of people drinking delicious Starbucks coffees. That'll show em!

 

5.  Buy some Starbucks croissants too and write "CHRIST" on them with a Sharpie.

 

6.  Buy some Starbucks French Roast coffee grinds to gift to co-workers. Suggest to your co-workers that they write "Merry Christmas" on the bags when they take them home.

 

7.  Buy a 128-pack of Starbucks Blonde K-Cups (retail $89.95) and write "God" on all the little cups. Now every time you use one = NAILED 'EM CITY

 

8.  Browse the Starbucks music selection online. Buy the new Starbucks-sponsored Best of Norah Jones album off Starbucks.com. Imagine she's singing about St. Peter.

 

9.  Hand over a huge novelty check to Starbucks for $200,000 and hold a press conference announcing the donation with lots of photographers present. The catch? Write "Jesus" in the memo.

 

1.  Open up a Starbucks franchise in that underserved location of your suburban hometown where you always thought a Starbucks would do pretty well cause of all the foot traffic and its proximity to the Amtrak station and the high school football field. Be thinking about angels some of the time while you're running the business for the next two decades extremely profitably through your shrewd but fair business acumen.