For years the scientific community has scrutinized the Large Hadron Collider and everything it has aimed to do in the name of science.

Despite worries and claims of black holes and parallel universes, the scientific team at their 16 mile deep, Switzerland headquarters seems excited about the new wave of tests.  The machine was fired up roughly 2 years ago with experiments designated Atlas and CMS.  These experiments confirmed the discovery of the so-called Higgs boson, an elementary particle that gives other particles their mass, and a substance which had eluded detection for nearly 50 years.  The machine is also hailed and hopes to someday explore parallel universes close to our own.

A very real fear and danger, is of the Large Hadron Collider creating “dark matter” which is the material that black holes are made of.  That dark matter could then start consuming the entire Earth in a matter of seconds.

In late May, a team of graduate students from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in the United States went to the Hadron Collider to protest its use in the adaptation and discovery of parallel universes.

The US students were extremely concerned on the societal implications of rampant homosexuality that may be occurring in some of these alternate universes.

“If you’re gay in every other universe, then how do you ever expect to get better here?” Mary Wandersberger explained in a phone interview, “these kids are trying to get better and cure their homosexuality–why like make it way harder for them to do it (sic)?”

The problem isn’t only rampant homosexuality.  They also fear the prospect of an Atheistic parallel universe.

“I don’t know what I plan to see,” Mary explained to us, “all I know is that if I see Atheist churches on every sidewalk I will literally throw up all of my insides and die (sic).”

These are not the first students to attempt and protest the LHC.  A group showed in it’s first runs, in 2012 to protest and several lost their lives in very gruesome collider incident.  Since then, the facility has been shut from any outside speculation or oversight.

The team in place at the moment thanks the lack of oversight for their ability to operate at speeds that most scientists would classify as irresponsible.  However, it is only at these unknown speeds that they will be able to see the glimpses into the future, and perhaps–the end times of man and the world as we know it.