Who Was It With? 

J. Haddix

When Did You Realize It was Love? 

Almost a year after meeting him.

What Did It Feel Like? 

I didn't know it was love. I never thought I'd fall in love. I was in 6th grade and I remember walking into class scared out of my mind because I didn't know anybody, so I just sat there looking around and then I saw the door open and he walked in. I remember thinking he was the cutest guy I'd ever seen. Tall, long brown hair, goatee, manly looking. I was 11 so the feeling was new to me. At the moment I didn't think it was love, I just thought it was a kid crush. He was an 8th grader though, I'm guessing he was about 14 or 15. I didn't know his name, or anything about him. He was a complete stranger.

What Happened Next? 

I went to class everyday excited because I wanted to see him. So it turns out my best friend was one of his good friends so one day as I walked to class I saw him & my friend.I kept walking then I heard someone yell my name, I turned & he was smiling at me. I was so happy. So the next day I went to school determined to let him know how I felt. He wasnt there, so I just thought he was absent. Next day still no show, and so on for a week. Then my friend told me that he had gotten arrested for being a drug dealer. He was in juvenile. I broke down, I couldn't understand why I was crying. I knew I liked him but not enough to cry over him. Days went by, and then weeks, and school ended. He never came back. I was super depressed so my mom moved me to a different school. I went on my 7th grade year and everything was good. Deep inside I still thought about him. I sometimes even dreamt of him and I couldn't explain why. School ended and one summer day I got on my MySpace and I saw that I had one message so I clicked to see and it was a message from him. I remember the feeling, I was so happy yet scared at the same time. That's when I realized I loved him. My feelings had never changed. I replied and we talked for a week or so. But he didn't know I was the girl from 6th grade, and I didn't wanna tell him. Then he have me his number and we started texting. We texted all day everyday and soon enough we became best friends. But he had a gf, and a baby. About a month after talking he told me he liked me and about a month after that he said "I love you." I cried, I never thought I'd hear him say it. The next day we went on our first date. I hadn't seen him in almost 2 yrs, yet I recognized him the second I saw him. He was so different, his hair was short, he had a mustache and beard, he was a bit chunkier, but not fat. I was so nervous I felt like my stomach was gonna fall off. He hugged me. I felt like I could've stayed in his arms forever. After that I didn't see him for 6 months. He promised he would leave his gf, but he never did. The next time I saw him he had his own car and we drove around & then went to a park and just chilled in his car. He was now nobody there, it was raining, he was 16 I was 13, and I ended up having sex with him. He was single by now. He left me at a store after that, in the rain, all he said was "don't tell anyone about this" and I didn't hear from him in weeks. Then he talked to me again & I took him back, no questions asked.

Lessons Learned

• After that I found out he had a new gf. We stopped talking.2 months later just when everything was getting better, he texted me. once again I took him back. School started& by now I was in 9th grade, he was in 11th & we were at the same school. It turns out we had 1st pd together. We became close again and once again we started having sex. For his bday I gave him $150. Then he got back with his baby momma and stopped talking to me. We haven't talked for months now. School is over and I doubt we'll talk again. I miss him like crazy. All I know is I'll always love him.