Who Was It With? 

a boy I went out with in year 7

When Did You Realize It was Love? 

I couldn't get over him through year 7, 8, 9 and 10

What Did It Feel Like? 

I would crave his attention, whenever I thought about him or spoke to him my chest twitched and went warm for a few seconds. I felt really tense. But then when I would go home, I would think about stuff and my chest would tighten again, but in a painful way. It didn't physically hurt, but it emotionally hurt, so it felt like I was hurting on the outside. I would try and hide it but I wouldn't be able to hold it in so I told him in year 8, and he told my best friend that he never wants to get back with me. It hurt a lot at first. I would just constantly cry and be moody. I stopped eating and started wearing lots of makeup.

What Happened Next? 

I didn't say anything about it after my best friend told me. I didn't treat him any differently to how I treat my friends. I just got over him...well I thought I did, until he started flirting with me and constantly giving me compliments. After months of hints, my best friend then told me in year 9 that he wasn't over me and that he wants to get back with me. He went to extremes to get my attention. He wrote me songs, told everyone he loved me. Wrote he loves me in capital letters on facebook everyday at least 4 times. Always cry to me and tell me how much he loved me. But I wasn't ready, I went through all that hurt because of him, and then he decides he wants me back. I couldn't bear it. I didn't want to get hurt again. So I left it as friends, we got closer and closer and in the end we just bonded and had loads of moments. And then I realised that I wasn't over him after all those years. So...year 10 we got back together. We were together 7 months until he wanted to brag to all his friends about me. I wasn't comfortable but he didn't understand. It turned into a huge argument and I felt disrespected. So it was the end of the relationship. I wasn't over him but I didn't want to hurt again, and I couldn't take it so I had to let him go, but he wasn't over me, he said he loved me all the time and on nights out he would spend the whole night crying on my shoulder begging for me to go back to him. But I couldn't trust him. 6 months after the breakup he got a new girlfriend. When I saw the relationship status on facebook my heart dropped. It felt like a brick had just fallen on my chest, I got a shot of pain which only lasted a minute or 2. But it was enough for me to cry. A few weeks later they split and he told me he loved me again and that he only went out with her to get over me, but the next day he got back with her. And they seem to be pretty in love after knowing each other for 4 weeks.

Lessons Learned

• So now I'm in love with a boy that doesn't even smile when he walks past me. My advice is...when you think you love someone and they break your heart, and they try to get you back a few months, or years later...don't take their word. Because if they've hurt you once, what's stopping them from doing it again. I'm not saying love is a bad thing. Because when two people love each other it is the best feeling in the world. No matter what happens around you, as long as you have the one you love, you will always be safe. But if love goes wrong..it's the worst thing in the world.