Being in love is a roller coaster all by itself. When you love a person with the bipolar disorder, it resembles a rollercoaster that has come off the hinges and is now sliding through the amusement park. There are times that there are tons of adventures and then there are bouts of confusion, but when the ride is over there always seems to be devastation somewhere along the path.

What is bipolar disorder?

Bipolar disorder is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in your mood and energy. The changes trigger unpredictable energy levels and can create issues with completing simple tasks.While there are different types of bipolar on thing there is one thing that they all have in common, there are clearly visible changes in the mood, energy.

When a person that suffers from bipolar is manic, they seem full of energy and really happy on the outside. When you look closer, you will see that they are too happy. This can last for up to 7 days. During a hypo-manic episode, you will see the same behavior, it will only last for a shorter period, under 4 days.

When a person feels very sad or down, and has very little energy, this is a depressive episode. They may feel like they can't enjoy anything for a period lasting at the very least four weeks.

When a person’s mood episode doesn’t fit into one of the three types above, it could be because the person is having some depressive symptoms mixed with manic, or hypomanicl symptoms at the same time. It can cause the person to feel impulsive but still really sad. This is called a mixed episode.

 How does this affect your relationship?

 

You have to understand that your bipolar man has many different masks. In the beginning, he could be charming and may not be able to get enough of you. The sex will be amazing trust me. But then out of nowhere, your relationship falls flat and he becomes cold and distant. At times, he may not even want to touch you at all. This is the classic behavior of a classic bipolar man.

The first time you experience manic or hypo-manic episodes will be so much fun. You will think oh wow, this guy is super talkative, extremely upbeat and packed full of energy, how can you not fall in love with him? Then the next week the depression hits them physically, spiritually and there really is nothing you can do that will help him.

After he starts to feel comfortable in the relationship, the odd controlling behavior will start and manipulation begins. He has no way of predicting your behavior so now he is fighting to control it. This will come out in passive aggressive statements like "Only a stupid person would do that" or "Don't you know how to think?". When the controlling behavior doesn't bend you to his will, he will start to disconnect from you and pull away.

With most, there will be a drug or alcohol addiction at one point in their life. When you pair this with the problem with spending unbelievable amounts of money will give way to binges of drinking or drug use. While you might say to yourself, there is no way he drank that much. The answer is oh yes he did.

When in a mania or hypomania, a person with bipolar disorder will find tons of reasons to justify spending large amounts of money on random things. Most of the time it will be spent on luxurious items. If he has a supportive family, they may handle the finances for them.
There will also be periods of irritability, you may become the outlet for his anger. Children are just as vulnerable to it. When he starts experiencing moments of grandeur, it might get a little scary. Trying to convince someone they aren't the second coming of Christ is a hard thing to do. Or it could be on a smaller scale, where he wholeheartedly believes that family, friends lives depend on his actions.

It is hard to remember that there is a disorder, he doesn't directly control most of these behaviors. They are caused by the imbalance of chemicals and how they affect his brain. It really isn't his fault.

How to make it work

Making a relationship with the bipolar man can happen. You have to have a whole lot of love and patience, but you can make it work. Some things that can help

•  Enforce the use of medication- Taking medication as it is prescribed is key to having a healthy boyfriend. Let him know early on opting to not take medication is an instant dealbreaker.
• Know when to blame theiillness not the person- You can't blame him for what the illness causes him to do. You can, however, help him acknowledge where the problem is and discuss ways to avoid it in the future.
• Phone a friend- You have to have an active support network, not only for you but also for him.
• Know when to walk away- Taking a step back from the situation before it escalates is key to making this work. If you can't walk away for a moment or two, you will never be able to handle him
• Look for and ask about triggers- If everytime he watches a certain movie he behaves differently, encourages him to not watch it.
• Manage the money- With the manic episodes encouraging him to go on shopping sprees, take the temptation of the house payment and the utility money being spent at the shopping center.
• Comunication- If he hurts your feelings during an episode, talk about it. If he makes you upset tell him what he did and how it hurt you. Then its important to talk about how to avoid the problem in the furture.
• Find the humor in a situation- If you can find a way to make him smile, do it! If you can turn his frown upside down you can make it a happy day.

It doesn't have to  all bad

If you work hard and stay devoted to the relationship it can work.