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Feeling great about yourself makes you more attractive to others and as you love yourself, your life and relationships become less burdensome, much easier, and more spontaneous. When you have an internal sturdiness deep within your core and you don’t spend your time second-guessing what others are thinking about you, you're able to adapt easily to the inevitable ups and downs that come in your way. It’s not about getting everyone's attention and morph into a people pleaser or an actor playing roles to accommodate those you want to impress, it’s more on your desire to be loved, respected, and viewed in a positive light regardless of all your imperfections.
There is an amazing power getting to know your inner self and learning how to use it and not fight with the world. If you know what makes you happy, your personality, interests and capabilities, just use them, and everything else flows beautifully.
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Attraction is the energy that draws people closer to you and creates deeper connections in relationships. Are you excited to build your charisma and make strong relationships with others who generally enjoy your company? Just be patient, you’ll get to that. There’s nothing that feels better than claiming your identity full on and to glow with love from the inside out.
To be a vibrant and memorable person is not about what you wear, but how you wear it; it’s not about what you do, but how you do it. So, what’s in the “how” that makes all the difference? The answer is just simple: It's about finding the time to get to know yourself to build an authentic connection to oneself. You can try to ask yourself compelling questions such as: ”Who am I, what do I want in life and what is it that matters to me?” From here, you’ll be on your way to know yourself deeper. Given below are the ways to create an inner connection to yourself and to others.
1. DARE TO BE DIFFERENT from others.
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You already know that each of us is unique in our own way so you should develop your own personal operating system. If you enjoy horseback riding than shopping, then do it, focus on what makes you different from all the rest and cultivate it. If you’re not comfortable with sexy or flashy clothes and prefer comfortable sneakers and jeans, be yourself and feel free to wear them. Those who follow the crowd will never go further than the crowd, but those who venture alone find themselves in new and interesting places no one has ever been. Pretensions will never make you attractive, accentuate your strengths and let the real you shine forth. Don’t settle for mediocre and challenge yourself constantly. Don’t languish in past accomplishments and exude enthusiasm about numerous opportunities out there.
2. ACCEPT your flaws and EMBRACE them.
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Be able to laugh at yourself, acknowledge your flaws and failures, and accept that they don’t define you – and yet, still confident enough to be humble. Be open to learning and recognize that you can learn something even from those who appear “less than”. If you love yourself, it will be a lot easier to appreciate your body and take care of it. You’re not afraid to express yourself because you’re not easily influenced by others’ standards and definitions of what’s good and bad. Accept who you really are and be proud of it. Stay on a path of self-improvement, keep evolving, and stay alert for opportunities for shifts and growth.
3. STAY TRUE for what you believe in.
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A busy quest for validation from others won’t bring you any good, in fact, your insecurity may push people away. Instead of seeking the approval of others, do the right thing for yourself, for others, and for society at large. You should know what you want and be willing to work hard to get it. It’s a little disappointing and annoying if someone doesn’t know where he should go, so don’t be like that. Be someone who is looked-up to and maintain your moral standards no matter what life throws at you, and that alone is very attractive and beautiful. There’s no point in forcing yourself to accept something if it clearly violates your own moral standards, so if you think something is not right and if you believe that it’s against your principles, be brave to walk away. Move effortlessly in a different direction while being generous to the people in your life and to those who have "less" – listen, support, give them your attention, and think about the bigger picture.
4. TAKE CARE of yourself all the time.
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Embrace a healthy lifestyle because a healthy body is very often considered an attractive trait. It doesn’t mean you need to become a body builder or marathon runner, just start by making a healthy decision in your everyday life. Aim to get 8 hours of sleep each night to fight off red eyes and studies have shown that sleep-deprived people look less healthy, more tired, and overall less attractive. Keep yourself well-groomed by getting regular haircuts, combing your hair, keeping your nails clean, brushing and flossing your teeth regularly, and taking a bath daily – yes, personal hygiene is a must. By doing this constantly, you’ll smell nice and your scent is a strong influencer on attractiveness. If you are healthy, you feel good about yourself and it radiates from inside of you. Respect yourself by observing healthy routine and lifestyle such as eating nutritiously, exercising regularly, and attending to your emotional health.
5. SMILE throughout your life.
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It’s important to smile and be nice to everyone but never make fun of anyone. If you smile at people you see, most of them will smile back because you automatically become more approachable, more interesting, and friendlier. On the other hand, no matter how beautiful you are, if you’re just faking a smile and you’re rude and often looks sarcastic, no one would like to come near you. People will definitely be attracted by your cool and nice attitude in no time, so if there’s something you disagree to or if there’s something you’re not happy about, learn to express it in a friendly and cool manner. However, don’t be too nice as to allow other people to walk over you and learn to defend yourself when the time calls for it. Be someone who always smiles and has a positive outlook in life – smiling is a huge tool in attractiveness.
6. HAVE FUN and let yourself CELEBRATE LIFE.
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It’s a personality trait that could bring a bunch of positivity to your life and the lives of others, and not only can playfulness help reduce stress levels but will also help you appear more confident and comfortable. Take time to tease lightly, laugh easily, and pay close attention to the people around you. No matter what your motives are, playfulness isn’t attractive if you end up hurting someone’s feelings, so if you are in a professional environment where playfulness is generally not encouraged, save it for when you leave work. You can exercise kindness and warmth by knowing when to have fun and when to be serious about things – be someone who brings joy to your circle.
7. Don’t count mistakes and SEE THE GOOD IN OTHERS.
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Go beyond listening and understanding, let people know that you really get them and accept others as they are. Focus on people’s strengths rather than their faults, and begin letting go of judgments and criticism. Learn to deal with difficult people without diminishing yourself and have a compassionate heart who doesn’t judge others easily. Don’t get easily disappointed by circumstances and believe that there’s goodness in every person you meet. When you complain a lot and when you judge people based on what you see, you create some sort of barrier that will prevent you from having friends. Show them that you really care and see them not only for who they are, but who they can be. Lovingly reflect that vision to them and see with your heart, not your eyes. Look beyond superficiality when seeing someone because financial status, appearance, and notoriety mean nothing – look for the authentic person inside.
8. BE SPONTANEOUS and allow yourself for EXPERIMENTATION.
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Get to know yourself, trust your instincts, and discover what you enjoy and find exciting, even if you have failed a few times. Ask yourself these questions: “What would you like to achieve in life, what brings you so much joy, and what is it that brings you a feeling of well-being and contentment?” And then, quiet the voice in your head that second-guess your choices, and start living for yourself instead of focusing on how others may or may not be judging you, which waste precious time that could be spent on getting what you want out of life. People will not notice you if you keep on hiding, so go and hang-out with your friends, smell the flowers and enjoy the sun, or eat something you have never tasted before. Those that have a sense of purpose and meaning are more compelling because they exude strength and their happiness is contagious.
9. BE BRAVE enough to EXPRESS YOURSELF.
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The words you use can have a huge impact on how you come across to others, so select your words carefully. Avoid being negative as much as possible and prioritize positive words over negative ones. If you feel like you need to say something, just say it, and don’t let your brilliant ideas be left unsaid, people deserve to know them. If you’re nervous, practice speaking slow to help you remain calm and maintain control while giving them a chance to digest what you are saying. Speak constructively and use words to uplift, inspire, motivate, and encourage others. Yes, encourage others to talk about themselves, shine the spotlight on them, and give them your full attention and appreciation by focusing only on them. Don’t check your phone, don’t glance at your monitor, and don’t focus on anything else, even for a moment. If you show them that you’re really interested in their stories, it triggers pleasure responses in their brain. You become more memorable and attractive by being smart enough to choose your words carefully but brave enough to say it sincerely – speak intelligently but not intimidating.
Final Remarks
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Many people want others to be attracted to them because they don’t feel that great about themselves and they think the answer to feeling good comes from someone showering them with love. To be highly attractive to others, you must be highly attractive to yourself and you must take self-love seriously. Cultivate a loving relationship with yourself and this might sound cliché, but there’s a reason this wisdom is circulated again and again. When you feel great about yourself, people will feel the exact same way to you, too - sounds simple, right? To feel empowered and embody attractiveness, you have to care for yourself, trust yourself, and love yourself - and the best way to tap into your natural self-love is through spiritual practice, such as yoga or meditation.
If you’re trying to be what you think others want you to be and mold or change yourself for them, it means that you doubt that you’re actually worthy just the way you are. Once you doubt your self-worth, you can’t inspire strong feelings of attraction in other people. It will make you look like you’re not ready to pave the path for your own journey. Start claiming yourself in a powerful way and give supreme importance to who you are and this, of course, commands respect from others.
The ultimate act of self-love is claiming all parts of yourself, including every flaw and “unattractive” part. People who are highly attractive turn toward their insecurities and embrace them instead of condemning themselves for their flaws. Self-acceptance is a practice and it’s not going to be easy, but once you get used to it, you can naturally inspire others to embrace all of you, too. Speak kindly to yourself whenever you get triggered and be more confident to handle anything that comes your way. Although not everyone will be attracted to your authenticity, it’s still important to show them who you really are and if they are not happy about it, it’s not your problem anymore. Only when we embrace our own authentic qualities and see ourselves as lovable, do we release the pheremones of being attractive to other people.
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