Everyone experiences sadness at some point or other in their lives. Studies have shown that sadness lasts longer than many other emotions because we tend to spend more time thinking about it. Ruminating, or going over our sad thoughts and feelings again and again, can lead to depression and keep you from overcoming sadness.[1] There are several things you can do to help yourself through the hard times. Method 1 of 5: Coping With Sadness Overcome Sadness Step 1 Version 2.jpg1 Cry. Some studies suggest that crying may have a relaxing effect on the body by releasing endorphins, a natural “feel-good” chemical in your body. Crying may also activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body recover from stress and trauma.[2] Several studies suggest that crying is a useful coping mechanism because it communicates pain to others. It may also encourage others to show support.[3] Dr. William Frey’s idea that crying removes toxins from the body is very popular in the media. This may be true, although the amount of toxins eliminated by crying is negligible. Most tears are reabsorbed in your nasal cavity.[4] One study suggested that whether you feel better after crying is linked to how your culture views crying. If your culture (or even your family) views crying as something shameful, you may not feel better after crying.[5] Don’t make yourself cry if you don’t feel like it. While popular wisdom holds that not crying after a sadness-provoking incident is unhealthy, this is not the case. Crying because you feel obligated to may actually keep you from recovering.
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2Exercise. Several studies have shown that exercise releases endorphins and other chemicals that can help fight sadness.[7] One study showed that participants who did moderate exercise over a 10-week period felt more energetic, positive, and calm than those who did not. In addition, the benefits of exercise were greater for people experiencing depressed mood.[8]- Exercise will also give you a time to focus on one specific goal. This may help distract you from focusing on your sadness.
- You don’t have to run a marathon or be a gym rat to see the benefits of exercise. Even light activities such as gardening and walking show a positive effect.
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3Smile. Several studies have shown that smiling, even when you are sad, can help you feel better.[9]Duchenne smiles, or smiles that engage your eye muscles as well as those near your mouth, have the strongest positive effect on your mood. So if you are feeling sad, try to smile. Even if you don’t feel like it at first, it may help you feel more positive.- Research has also showed the opposite: people who frown when they feel unhappy are likely to feel more unhappy than those who do not (or cannot) frown.[10]
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4Listen to music. Listening to music can help soothe and relax you. Why you choose to listen to music is as important as what you listen to. Listening to “beautiful but sad” classical music that you enjoy may help people work through their own sadness.[11][12]- It’s not a good idea to use music to reminisce about sad situations or experiences. Research has shown that this may make your sadness worse. Choosing music that you find beautiful is the most effective way to relieve sadness.[13]
- If sadness has you feeling stressed out, the British Academy of Sound Therapy has put together a playlist of the “world’s most relaxing music” according to science. These songs include music by Enya, Airstream, Marconi Union, and Coldplay.[14]
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5Take a warm bath. Research has shown that physical warmth has a comforting effect. Taking a warm bath or a hot shower will help you relax. It may also help you soothe your feelings of sadness.[15]Ad
Method 2 of 5: Overcoming Sadness
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1Acknowledge your feelings. Sadness is normal and can even be healthy. Research has shown that experiencing mixed feelings and negative feelings is crucial to mental well-being.[16] Many studies have shown that people who apologize for or repress their feelings actually intensify those negative feelings.- Try to acknowledge your emotions without judging yourself for them. It’s easy to think, “This isn’t a big deal, why am I so sad about it?” Instead, accept your emotions for what they are. This will help you manage them.[17]
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2Distract yourself. Studies have shown that rumination, or the process of going over and over your feelings of sadness, hinders recovery. [18] Distracting yourself from ruminating on your sadness may help you overcome it.[19]- Find pleasant things to do. Doing things that you enjoy can help you overcome sadness, even if you don’t initially feel like doing them.[20] Go for a walk. Take an art class. Find a new hobby. Learn how to play classical guitar. Whatever it is that you get enjoyment out of, make yourself do it.
- Interact with friends. Interacting with loved ones can boost your body’s production of oxytocin. Go to a movie, grab a coffee, go on a blind date. Studies have shown that retreating from others can worsen depressive symptoms, including sadness.[21]
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3Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is based on acknowledging your experiences and accepting them without judging them or yourself. Research has shown that practicing mindfulness can actually change how your brain responds to sadness. It can also help you recover from sadness faster.[22]- Because mindfulness focuses on remaining in the present moment, it can help you avoid rumination.
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4Try meditation. A common mindfulness technique is mindfulness meditation.Several studies have shown that mindfulness meditation can reduce your brain’s responses to negative emotional stimuli.[23]- Mindfulness meditation can also alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety.
- A basic mindfulness meditation takes about 15 minutes. Find a quiet, comfortable place. Sit, either in a chair or on the floor with your legs crossed. Loosen tight clothing and make yourself comfortable.[24]
- Choose one aspect of your breathing to focus on. This could be the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe, or the sensation of air going through your nostrils. Focus your concentration on that element.
- Inhale slowly through your nose. Allow your abdomen to relax and expand as you fill your lungs. Slowly exhale through your mouth.
- Continue breathing as you expand your focus. Notice the sensations you feel. These could include the feeling of your clothes against your skin or the beat of your heart.
- Acknowledge these sensations but don’t judge them. If you find yourself getting distracted, return to focusing on your breathing.
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Method 3 of 5: Recognizing and Handling Sadness from Grief and Loss
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1Know what may cause grief. Grief is the feeling of sadness that comes when you lose something or someone you value. How individuals grieve differs widely, but grief is a natural reaction to loss. Some common types of loss include:[28][29]- Losing a loved one, such as a friend, relative, or romantic partner
- Knowing a loved one is experiencing serious illness
- Losing a relationship
- Losing a pet
- Leaving home or moving to a new home
- Losing a job or a business
- Losing important or sentimental objects
- Losing physical abilities
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2Recognize natural grief reactions. Everyone reacts to grief and loss in their own way. There is no one “right” way to grieve. Some reactions to loss include:[30]- Disbelief. It can be hard to accept that the loss has occurred. You may experience thoughts such as “This can’t be happening” or “This doesn’t happen to people like me.”
- Confusion. You may have trouble concentrating immediately after a loss. You may also experience forgetfulness or have trouble expressing your thoughts and feelings.
- Numbness. You may experience feelings of emotional numbness early in the grieving process. This may be your brain’s way of keeping you from feeling overwhelmed.
- Anxiety. It’s natural to feel anxious, nervous, or worried after a loss, especially if the loss was sudden.
- Relief. This emotion can cause people a lot of shame, but it is also a natural response. You may feel relieved that a loved one who had suffered through a long, painful illness is finally at peace. Do not judge yourself for this feeling.[31]
- Physical symptoms. You may experience a variety of physical symptoms after a loss. These could include feeling breathless, headaches, nausea, weakness, and fatigue. You may have trouble sleeping, or you may feel like sleeping all the time.
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3Do not judge your feelings. It is common for people who have lost material objects or pets to feel embarrassed, as though they “shouldn’t” grieve these losses.[32] Avoid these “should” statements and accept your grief. It is never wrong to grieve a loss of something or someone you value.- Some research has shown that the death of a beloved pet may hurt as much as losing a family member.[33]
- The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has a “Pet Loss Hotline.” They can help you with issues including when to euthanize an ill pet, how to handle your grief, and how to love a new pet. Their number is 1-877-GRIEF-10.[34]
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4Understand the stages of grief. Almost everyone experiences grief in five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.[35] Not everyone goes through the stages in this order. For many people, grief forms a cycle of stages that gradually lessens over time.[36]- These stages are not prescriptive. They should not tell you how to feel. Use them as a way to recognize what you’re feeling and deal with that. Never feel guilty for how you experience grief.
- The stages may not occur as separate stages. You may experience several stages overlapping. You may not experience some stages at all. There is no single normal experience of loss. Your experience of grief is natural and unique to you.[37]
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5Recognize denial. Denial is usually one of the first reactions to a loss or bad news.[38] It often manifests as a feeling of numbness. It may also include thoughts like “This isn’t real,” “I can’t handle this,” or even “I feel fine.”[39]- A common thought while experiencing denial is wishing that it was “all a dream.”
- Don’t confuse feeling numb or in shock as “not caring.” Denial is your mind’s way of protecting you from intense emotion as you adjust to your new situation. You may care very deeply about someone and still react with numbness or denial.[40]
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6Recognize anger. Anger is another natural reaction to loss. This feeling may manifest as thoughts such as “It’s not fair” or “Why did this happen to me?” You may look for someone or something to blame for your loss.[41] Anger is a common response to feeling as though you have lost control of a situation. It is also a common response to feeling like you have been harmed.[42]- Talk with a grief counselor and/or support group as you experience anger. It can be difficult to manage anger on your own.[43] It’s important to talk with people who will not judge your anger but can help you through it.
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7Recognize bargaining. Bargaining thoughts and feelings may occur some time after the initial loss. These thoughts may be about what you “could have done” to prevent the loss. You may feel extremely guilty. You may fantasize about going back in time and doing things differently to prevent this loss.[44]- It’s important to seek help during this stage too. If you cannot resolve your feelings of guilt, you may not be able to help yourself heal. Talk to a mental health professional or find a grief support group.[45]
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8Recognize depression. Depression is a very common reaction to loss. It may last for only a short time, or it may take a long time to recover from. It’s important to seek professional mental health help as you work through depression. If left untreated, depression usually gets worse. Symptoms of depression include:[46]- Fatigue
- Disturbed sleep patterns
- Feelings of guilt, helplessness, or worthlessness
- Feelings of fear and sadness
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Headaches, cramps, muscle aches, and other physical pains
- Loss of enjoyment in things you used to like
- Changes in your “normal” mood (increased irritability, mania, etc.)
- Disturbed eating patterns
- Suicidal thoughts or plans[47]
- It might be very difficult to tell the difference between sadness during grieving and clinical depression. People who are grieving could experience all these symptoms. However, a person is more likely to be clinically depressed if the person is thinking about suicide or has a plan for suicide. If you are having suicidal thoughts, seek immediate medical help.
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9Seek help from friends and family. It may help to talk about your grief with people who are close to you. Sharing feelings of sadness with others may help them feel less intense.[48] -
10Give yourself time. The sadness from a loss may take a long time to heal. Be patient and kind with yourself. It may take awhile for you to achieve “acceptance,” the final stage of grieving.[49]
Taking classes with others may provide more relief than doing these exercises on your own.
Method 4 of 5: Recognizing and Handling Clinical Depression
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1Compare clinical depression to “the blues.” Clinical depression goes beyond a feeling of sadness or “feeling down.” It is a serious mental health issue that requires treatment. Depression is unlikely to improve on its own.[50]- Sadness is a natural human emotion. It can occur as a response to loss. It can be the result of experiencing something unpleasant or uncomfortable. Sadness or “feeling down” usually lessens on its own over time. It is often not a constant feeling. Sadness may come and go. It is usually triggered by a particular experience or event.[51]
- Clinical depression is more than sadness. It is not a feeling that people can just “get over.” It rarely lessens over time. It is usually near-constant or constantly present. It may not be triggered by any particular event or experience. It can be so overwhelming that it interferes with daily living.[52]
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2Recognize the symptoms of clinical depression. Clinical depression may manifest differently in different individuals. You may not have all of the symptoms of this disorder. Symptoms usually interfere with your daily life activities and may cause significant distress or dysfunction.[53] If you frequently experience five or more of these symptoms, you may have clinical depression:[54]- Changes in sleep habits
- Changes in eating habits
- Inability to focus or concentrate, “feeling fuzzy”
- Fatigue or lack of energy
- Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy
- Irritability or restlessness
- Weight loss or weight gain
- Feelings of despair, hopelessness, or worthlessness
- Physical aches, pains, headaches, cramps, and other physical symptoms that have no clear cause
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3Know what causes depression. Depression has many causes, and researchers are not yet entirely certain how it works. Early trauma may cause changes in how your brain handles fear and stress. Many studies suggest that clinical depression may be partly genetic. Life changes such as losing a loved one or going through a divorce may trigger an episode of major depression.[55]- Clinical depression is a complex disorder. It may be partially caused by trouble with neurotransmitters in your brain, such as serotonin and dopamine.[56]Medication may help regulate these chemicals and alleviate depression.
- Substance abuse, such as misuse of alcohol and drug use, is strongly linked to depression.[57]
- Studies suggest that lesbian, gay, and bisexual individuals may suffer from higher rates of depression. This may be because of a lack of social and personal support systems.[58]
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4Talk with your doctor. If you have depressive symptoms that interfere with your daily life, consider talking with your physician. S/he may prescribe you antidepressant medications that can help regulate the hormones in your brain that affect mood.[59]- Be sure to describe all of your symptoms honestly to your doctor. There are several types of antidepressant medication. Your symptoms will help your doctor determine which medicine may be most helpful to you.
- Your individual body chemistry can respond to medications very differently. You and your doctor may need to try several antidepressants before you find one that works for you. If you feel your medication is not helping after a few months, speak with your doctor.[60][61]
- Do not switch or stop taking antidepressant medications without consulting your doctor first. This could cause serious health and mood issues.[62]
- If you continue to have difficulty with your antidepressant medication, consider seeing a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor with special training in psychiatric health. They may be able to help refine your medication to find the right treatment for you.[63]
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5Seek help from a mental health professional. Because depression is affected by so many factors, it’s crucial to seek help from a professional. A mental health professional can help you understand and navigate your emotions. Treatment that includes psychotherapy in addition to antidepressant medication is often more effective than medication alone.[64]- There are two common myths about depression. One is that you should just “snap out of it.” The other is that seeking help is a sign of weakness. These are not true. Admitting that you need help to manage your health is a sign of strength and self-care.[65]
- There are many types of mental health professionals. Psychiatrists and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners are usually the only ones who can prescribe medication. They may also offer therapy.[66]
- Psychologists have a doctorate degree in a field of psychology (clinical, educational, counseling) and specialized training in therapy. They are usually less expensive than psychiatrists, but more expensive than the other options.
- Licensed Clinical Social Workers have master’s degrees in Social Work. They may offer psychotherapy services. They can usually also help you find other resources in your community. LCSWs often work at community health clinics and university health centers.
- Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists have specialized training in handling couples and family issues. They may or may not also provide individual psychotherapy.
- Licensed Professional Counselors have a master’s degree in counseling. They usually have supervised training in offering mental health services. LPCs often work at community health clinics.
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6Contact your insurance provider. If you have health insurance in the United States, it’s important to contact your insurance company to learn which mental health providers in your area are covered by your plan. Some insurance companies may require a physician’s referral. Many companies only cover treatments by certain providers. -
7Keep in touch with family and friends. Withdrawal from social relationships is a common symptom of depression. However, you are likely to feel better if you reach out to your loved ones. They can provide support and love.[67]- You may not “feel like” seeing or interacting with others. It’s important to encourage yourself to do so anyway. Isolating yourself may worsen your depression.[68]
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8Eat well. You cannot “cure” depression simply by changing your diet. However, you can choose foods that promote feeling well.- Choose complex carbs. Whole grains, brown rice, beans, and lentils are good sources of complex carbohydrates. These carbs leave you feeling full longer and help manage blood sugar levels.[69]
- Avoid sugar and simple carbs. These may provide a temporary “high,” but the crash can worsen depressive symptoms.[70]
- Eat fruits and vegetables. Fruits and vegetables are high in nutrients such as vitamin C and beta-carotene. These antioxidants can help fight free radicals that disturb body functioning. Try to incorporate fresh fruit and veg into most meals.[71]
- Get enough protein. Several studies have shown that higher protein intake can boost your alertness.[72] It may also help improve your mood.[73]
- Incorporate Omega-3 fatty acids. These fatty acids are found in many nuts, oils such as flaxseed and soybean oil, and dark green leafy vegetables. They are also found in fatty fish such as tuna, salmon, and sardines. Some research suggests that eating more fatty acids may have a mild protective effect against depression.[74]
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9Sleep well. Depression often interrupts your sleeping habits. It’s important to get about eight hours of sleep a night.[75] Try to establish healthy sleeping habits, like going to bed at a regular time and limiting TV exposure before bed. -
10Exercise. If you are depressed, you may well not feel like getting out and exercising. However, many studies have shown that exercise elevates your mood. Try to aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate physical activity every day.[78]Strength-training at least twice a week is also helpful.[79]- Some research suggests that you may be less likely to become depressed if you exercise regularly.[80]
- People who are obese may be more likely to become depressed. Scientists do not fully understand this link, but exercise can help combat obesity and depression.[81]
Method 5 of 5: Recognizing and Handling SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)
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1Recognize the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a type of depression caused by a biochemical imbalance due to changing seasons. In some locations, usually ones further from the equator, there is less sunlight during the fall and winter months. This can change your body’s chemistry and cause symptoms that are very similar to clinical depression.[82] These symptoms include:[83]- Low energy or fatigue
- Difficulty concentrating
- Increased appetite
- Wanting to be isolated or alone
- Disrupted sleep patterns, excessive sleepiness
- SAD usually begins between 18 and 30 years of age.
- You may experience increased carbohydrate cravings if you are suffering from SAD. [84] This could lead to weight gain.
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2Seek professional treatment. The treatment for SAD is very similar to treatment for clinical depression. Anti-depressant medications and professional therapy are usually enough to treat SAD.[85] -
3Try light therapy. Light therapy can help regulate your body’s internal clock. You can find light therapy devices at many retailers and online. The light therapy lamp should be 10,000 Lux. (Lux refers to how intense the light is.)[86]- Check with the manufacturer to be sure that your light therapy lamp is designed to treat SAD. Some light boxes used to treat skin disorders emit more ultraviolet light and could cause damage to your eyes.[87]
- Light therapy is generally safe. However, if you have bipolar affective disorder you should consult with your doctor before starting light therapy.
- Light therapy may also cause complications for individuals who have lupus, skin cancer, or some eye conditions.[88]
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4Get more sunlight. Exposure to natural sunlight may help elevate your mood.[89]Open your curtains and blinds. Spend time outdoors when possible. -
5Brighten up your spaces. Painting your walls with lighter colors can help reflect the natural light.[90] Fun, bright décor may also help elevate your mood. -
6Enjoy winter. When you can, try to emphasize the enjoyable aspects of winter. Try curling up in front of a fire if you have a fireplace. Roast some marshmallows. Drink some hot cocoa (in moderation, of course).[91] -
7Get exercise. Just as with clinical depression, you can relieve the symptoms of SAD with exercise.[92] If you live in a wintry climate, try participating in winter sports such as skiing or snowshoeing. -
8Consider natural remedies. Always consult with your doctor before taking any natural remedies. Some remedies may interfere with medication or cause complications to existing medical conditions.[93]- Try melatonin to help regulate your sleep. Melatonin supplements may help you regulate your sleep cycles if they’ve been disturbed by SAD.
- Try St.John’s wort. There is some evidence that St. John’s wort may help alleviate mild depressive symptoms.[94] St. John’s wort may limit the effectiveness of prescription medications, including birth control pills, heart medications, and cancer medications.[95] St. John's wort cannot be taken with SSRIs, tricyclics, or other types of antidepressant medications. This may cause serotonin syndrome.[96] Do not take St. John’s wort without first talking with your doctor.
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9Vacation in a sunny place. If you live in a location that gets very little natural sunlight during the winter, consider taking a vacation to a sunny place. Locations such as the Caribbean and American Southwest often have bright sunshine even during the winter.
