I don't want to survive anymore. 

Always struggle and fight not to get there, not to reach my destination

but only not to falling down 

I'm tired of surviving, I want to fall .. fall down ... deeply into the ground and out of the universe. 

I wanna feel the air on my face while I'm falling from the highest point in the Sky toward the ground 

the moment when I hit  my body with the ground, that's the moment when I can finally struggle to get there. 

 My world is falling apart

I'm falling apart 

You know, I'm not angry, sad Or even regret.

I'm Happy !

I wished to fall apart, this is the only way to end my suffering.

to learn struggling for the real ones. 

to open the door and get out of my inner prison.

to destroy my window and see the world through my eyes. 

to touch the wind with my hand and feel it. 

It sounds like I'm standing on the shore, watching the real life on the other side, but I'm too coward to get down the water and get there. 

So, breaking will be good, falling apart of that fake world willbe the biggest gift in my New year. 

Eventually, my soul will be able to fly high into the sky.

and I, I'll be able to walk around in my last day in the world happily and with what I really have done with my life. 

Telling myself: Now I can die peacefully and smiling.