You will feel better about yourself when you read this...

IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, our phones went dead and I  had to contact the Telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00  p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant  gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that  I didn't see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email. Does YOUR email work  without a telephone line?

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on  the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete he transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it  was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I  signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to  the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they  matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We  recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Too  many deer were being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there  anymore. I know I've recently been with some of these people...

IDIOTS  IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She  asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,  but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport,  checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything  in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without  my knowledge, how would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it'safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a co-worker of mine when she asked if I  knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when  the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who is leaving the company due to "downsizing," our  manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an  individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her  couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT  SIGHTING #5:
When my wife and I rrived at an automobile dealership to pick up  our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service  department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side  door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door  handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!"  To which he replied, "I know - I already got that  side."

Now... don't you feel better?