My Shihan, my martial arts master, is one of my heroes. She's one of the people I hold most dear and means the world to me. I can't begin to explain the impact she has had on my life or what I would do if she asked it of me. I hope to become half the woman she is someday. She's been battling her third round of breast cancer since January. The fight is going to end soon. She probably has two to three weeks left.

I've known time was running out for several months now. I've tried to "prepare myself" and come to accept that I'll spend the rest of my life in a world she isn't in. I've tried to come to terms with the fact that she won't be at my wedding or meet the man I marry. My kids will never meet her. She won't see me graduate from college or leave to medical school. She won't be there to hug me when I succeed, wipe away tears when I cry or kick me in the butt and tell me to get my act together when I'm being an idiot.

To say I have't managed is an understatement. For her sake, I hope she goes soon. She can't eat or drink. She has a hard time seeing. And worst of all, she hurts. Badly. All the time. It's time. She's lived a good life and helped thousands of people.

It's quite the contrast knowing that it's her time to go and not being at all ready for it. I'm praying for strength and peace. I'm going to have one heck of a guardian angel by Christmas time.