It has been 5 months since I came to India and I've made a few observations about Indian men since my arrival. This is not meant to be offensive but an overview of my experiences. When I told people I'm going to India many responded with omg why go to the rape capital. Yes I read the headlines about sexual assaults in the country but I figured like everywhere it does exist and one should be careful. I wasn't prepared for my encounters here in India. I befriended Indian men at Thunderbird in Arizona. Some were married, some single but good guys and the jerks were off my radar. I only heard about the guys who were engaged but still played the field in terms of non Indian women.
In India there is a division among the sexes. When taking public transit there is a ladies section. All cities I've visited have a ladies section on buses and trains. In Bombay one woman had a good point that how can you work on gender equality with such blatant divisions. Her colleague responded that women need to feel safe when riding in public transportation. In Delhi I have heard that men are shameless and grope women anyhow. By the time a woman realizes what has happened to her the man has moved on or she can't identify him when she scans the crowd.
It seems men in their 20s-30s are bidding their time until they get married and enjoying the freedom. ll When it comes to foreign women they pull out all the stops to get a quick lay. In the end they all sound the same. It's one night, I'll never see you again, lets have this one night. I am confident they do not approach Indian women this way considering the Indian context and culture. I try to avoid men my age who are clearly single and unmarried for most I've encountered have alterior motives. I am honest about my situation in India and they try to pull a fast one as if I'm a bimbo who will fall for every guy who crosses my path. I've met few good Indian men who truly just want to be friends and one of them is happily married.
I should be more careful when travelling alone and interacting with men. When on public transit I approach men I gauge to be middle age and older to ask for directions. When walking I don't mind them stopping me and offering help when I look lost. I envision them to be someone's husband, father or grandfather. Men my age I try and stay clear but I have been played. Yes I learn the hard way and now I don't play that game anymore. Sure take me to dinner get me a drink but that's it no kiss, no fondling session and no happy ending for you.
It is as if men are looking to go through women until they get married whether it is arranged or for love. Some are good men but most men prove me wrong in that they all want one thing whether Indian or American. Or is it just me that I attract those type of men and come off as loose because I'm friendly though I don't dress provocatively. Ok I did at one time when I went clubbing in NYC. I am angry at myself for falling into the trap when I got played but someone who lives by the hard knocks. No not like those who grew up in urban areas or any other definition. I mean someone who it takes time for things to get through my thick skull before I put my defense up.
