On October 1, 2014 my article, The problems of polygamy was published in Dawn. It presented two studies, one from the UAE and one from Malaysia that revealed how polygamous family arrangements were deeply detrimental to women’s emotional health.

The Malaysian study also revealed just how imperfectly polygamy is in practice, focusing, in particular, on the neglect faced by children.

As soon as it appeared in the paper and online, I was inundated with letters, along with comments on the website. Most were predictably from men and of the sort that usually pour in when something is published about the suffering of women.

The article is “skewed” they complained because it was written from “a female perspective” (since only articles written by men and from a male perspective can ever be fair).

Others, who undoubtedly did not actually bother to read the article, scolded for interfering with a “divine right” that has been granted to men, who in their view should be permitted to practice polygamy without any conditions at all.

Several others pandered lies and misinformation, imagining women to be a greater percentage of the population than men, and proffering polygamy as an answer.

In actuality, the ratio of men to women in Pakistan is 100:90, meaning there are a 100 men for 90 women. If anything, it is an argument against plural marriages; since numerically, it would prevent some men from marrying at all.

 

Also read: The Quran on polygamy

 

The most poignant reader responses came from women, many of whom had suffered, were suffering or feared they would suffer from a practice that enshrines inequality and is erected on the belief that rights belonging to men are unquestionable.

Indeed, if the comments and letters are evidence, Pakistani men have discarded the second portion of the relevant clause on polygamy, the one that exhorts “perfect justice”.

In this revised calculation, fairness is a whim, practiced with frivolity and not subject to the scrutiny of others.