Who Was It With? 

A guy I really cared about.

When Did You Realize It was Love? 

I knew I was in love with him, when he was around me and I ALWAYS smile.

What Did It Feel Like? 

Falling in love with him felt like the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. He was literally MY 1st LOVE. He meant everything to me. He made me feel like I was loved by someone other than my mom. He just always made me feel like I was the only one that mattered. It was more of a summer fling then anything else. He never really committed to the relationship.

What Happened Next? 

We didn't get together. We were just more of friends with benefits. I guess. We tried our best to keep our relationship a secret until school started up. I found out I was pregnant. He was 15 and I was 14, and this was 2010-2011. I was going to be a freshman and he was going to be a sophomore. We were happy as clams then everyone found out about me being pregnant and it turned from two kids being in love to two kids in early high school going to be parents. I found out later on that he really didn't love me the way I loved him. He loved me as a friend, but I loved him as someone I could end up having a family with and getting married to. I ended up having a miscarriage, and he didn't care about it all. He was relieved that we weren't going to be parents. If we were he would not have been in his child's life. He didn't want anything to do with it because he didn't love me as someone he would marry and have a family with. He just saw me as a piece of butt he could get. He didn't care about my feelings. He never once asked me if I was ok or if I was scared. The one thing that hurt me the most is that he wasn't there when I needed him the most. That's what really upset me. He thinks he knows all the pain I was going through, but in real life he had no clue as to how much pain I was feeling physically and the pain I was feeling mentally knowing that the guy I loved and the guy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with didn't love me back. I understand that us having a child wasn't what we needed at the time and I'm grateful that God took any and all suffering out of my life. He must have known this wasn't something I would be able to handle on my own. I knew that I was really lucky, because a million things have to go right to get pregnant. A million things have to go wrong to not get pregnant. There might have been something wrong with our child so everything turned out for the better. As of where he and I stand right now we are friends, but we ain't friends like we were. We both knew that wasn't what we needed to be until we learned to LOVE each other in a way we could be together. Til the day I DIE I will Always love him. Even though his parents hate my guts, I will always love him and i will always be there for him through thick and thin. Even though he did run my heart over with a bulldozer. I will always care about him til the day I'm up in heavan. I know that we weren't meant to be at the time being, but I know that God has something better int he future.

Lessons Learned

• Things that I have learned:
• I have learned that you need to make sure that the person you are in a relationship with feels the same about you as you do them.
• You need to not rush things like I did because it gets you into trouble cause if you were to end up like me and you're going to be a parent its not easy. I took care of my niece when I was 9 so it was hard.
• Make sure you and the person you're in a relationship with get along. we did every now and then.
• Make sure you have their trust and that they have your trust as well. Trust is the key to having a good relationship.
• If one doesn't work find another 1