“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”

– Gail Sheehy

We’ve all been there – making resolutions about changes we want to make in our life or goals we want to achieve: to lose weight, to be more mindful, to write more, to finally pursue that dream we’ve been sitting on for the past five years. Usually, we start out strong for the first few days or a week and then, poof! We lose momentum or we fall off the proverbial wagon altogether.

No matter whether the goal is big or small, it often requires making changes in your life so you can bridge the gap between starting something new and developing it into a habit that becomes as second nature to you as brushing your teeth or washing your face.

I know, I’ve been there. For years I had wanted to write a book, but so many things got in the way – not enough time, not enough ideas, the need to focus on other aspects of my life. Each time I sat down to write I was confronted with that intimidating blank page. I would try for a few days and then I would shelve the idea for months. It was infuriating – why could I not apply myself to this long-standing dream of mine to be a published author? Why would I make the decision to write each day and then give it up after just a few paltry efforts?

When I really started to examine this, I realized that I had been looking at my goal from a perspective that was unhelpful. Conventional wisdom is that we usually fail because we don’t have enough willpower to follow through on our goal or the change we’re making in our lives. Merriam-Webster defines willpower as “the ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight or quit smoking).” If we buy into this paradigm we’re embarking on a path of change thinking about it as being difficult and something we have to struggle with. All that does is set us up for failure.

Instead, we need to think about our goals and the change we’re making in a positive light and set ourselves up for success, right from the very beginning. Once I dismissed the notion of making my change difficult, I was able to move through it much more effectively and here are some of the simple techniques I used to do just that. These steps help you make change in your life and maintain it for the long-term so you can achieve those goals and burning desires.

1. Get clear on your why and write it down.

If you’ve got a goal or you’re making change it’s usually for a specific reason. If you want to lose weight maybe it’s because you want to look great at your high school reunion. If your desire is to write more, perhaps it’s because you want to become a published author as I did. Whatever the goal or reason for change, you need to get really clear on your “why.”

Ask yourself, “Why do I want to make this change?” Being really clear on that why is crucial to your success because it’s going to be the key motivating factor that will drive all that you do. On those days when you don’t quite feel like working out or sitting down to write, you go back to your why and it propels you forward. My why was about sharing my message more deeply and broadly than just through my coaching.

But, it’s no use having that why floating around in your head. You have to write it down and post it in a place where you’ll see it every day. I have mine posted up beside my computer, and that visual reminder keeps me focused on the big picture which makes the daily steps to get there that much easier.

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living.”

– Gail Sheehy

We’ve all been there – making resolutions about changes we want to make in our life or goals we want to achieve: to lose weight, to be more mindful, to write more, to finally pursue that dream we’ve been sitting on for the past five years. Usually, we start out strong for the first few days or a week and then, poof! We lose momentum or we fall off the proverbial wagon altogether.

No matter whether the goal is big or small, it often requires making changes in your life so you can bridge the gap between starting something new and developing it into a habit that becomes as second nature to you as brushing your teeth or washing your face.

I know, I’ve been there. For years I had wanted to write a book, but so many things got in the way – not enough time, not enough ideas, the need to focus on other aspects of my life. Each time I sat down to write I was confronted with that intimidating blank page. I would try for a few days and then I would shelve the idea for months. It was infuriating – why could I not apply myself to this long-standing dream of mine to be a published author? Why would I make the decision to write each day and then give it up after just a few paltry efforts?

When I really started to examine this, I realized that I had been looking at my goal from a perspective that was unhelpful. Conventional wisdom is that we usually fail because we don’t have enough willpower to follow through on our goal or the change we’re making in our lives. Merriam-Webster defines willpower as “the ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight or quit smoking).” If we buy into this paradigm we’re embarking on a path of change thinking about it as being difficult and something we have to struggle with. All that does is set us up for failure.

Instead, we need to think about our goals and the change we’re making in a positive light and set ourselves up for success, right from the very beginning. Once I dismissed the notion of making my change difficult, I was able to move through it much more effectively and here are some of the simple techniques I used to do just that. These steps help you make change in your life and maintain it for the long-term so you can achieve those goals and burning desires.

1. Get clear on your why and write it down.

If you’ve got a goal or you’re making change it’s usually for a specific reason. If you want to lose weight maybe it’s because you want to look great at your high school reunion. If your desire is to write more, perhaps it’s because you want to become a published author as I did. Whatever the goal or reason for change, you need to get really clear on your “why.”

Ask yourself, “Why do I want to make this change?” Being really clear on that why is crucial to your success because it’s going to be the key motivating factor that will drive all that you do. On those days when you don’t quite feel like working out or sitting down to write, you go back to your why and it propels you forward. My why was about sharing my message more deeply and broadly than just through my coaching.

But, it’s no use having that why floating around in your head. You have to write it down and post it in a place where you’ll see it every day. I have mine posted up beside my computer, and that visual reminder keeps me focused on the big picture which makes the daily steps to get there that much easier.