The age old question... Does he/she love me? Is it worth fighting for him/her?

 

Well I may not be a master in the love department but I can lend a view into my life. Every day I wake up. (as does everyone) I wake up not with the rhythm of an offbeat heart. Looking for something else. I am a bit too young by today's standards to "settle down" and probably for the best.

But you see I have a different life that most people. My life revolves around connections that only occur if the particles are able to travel there. (the internet) I am always looking to find someone that will fill this void of empty space in my psyche. You all know what I am talking about its the feeling of emptiness when you don't have a significant other. Sometimes is minuscule and other times its the grand canyon of empty space. I need not find just a pretty face to fill this void but a person that understands me, someone that is forgiving and intelligent enough to realize that in a world where you are an online entrepreneur you need to take risks.

Which leads me to a wall. We will define it as the wall of friendship. I don't have the time to meet random people and form a connection. It has never worked for me. I ask too many questions and only end up seeing red. (Internal conflict.) So this leads me right into the wall of friendship. I will meet someone and become their friend and then after months of having no attraction to them BAM! The tiny hole that is in my mental wall expands and begins to pull any and all reasons why this person is the one for me.

This is disastrous. The worst part is when you are having these feeling and it is almost as if they are gaining sexual attraction to you as well... This is the scary part because our brains pull tricks on us that can skew reality. And since none of us our mind readers it leaves us with making leaps of faith.

So do I ask one of my friends out on a date and hope that it is interpreted as such? OF COURSE! Then we have a swell and wonderful time and BAM! The wall of friendship ensues and "So I am talking to the girl/guy and he said ____ ____ ___..." It happens and you are the one stuck in the rut while all of your dreams or expectations of this beautiful relationship crumble down like the Berlin wall. 

Now that you have eliminated friends from the pool of love interests. It is time to try and meet new people in hopes that one of them will be compatible. 

Will let you know when this test is being experimented. So far my luck has ran out. But the one thing that I need... or need to overcome is someone that I can share my life with that will be able to offer me keen advice.

 

Hopefully this incredibly rant driven post wasn't too jumbled and maybe fun to read. 

 

also as much as I want to be an English professor, I am not.