It’s sad… to see people you love go on without you. You all went on pursuing different careers, therefore heading towards different paths. After years of “always” being together during high school and college days, you see them live a different life, grow into much better persons, experience a lot of things. That’s why it’s so sad ‘coz you’re no longer with them, not having the same moments because you are having your own moment yourself.

It hurts… to know they’re creating new memories you are not a part of. Meet new people they’ve grown to love and enjoy to be with. Explore places and have fun even though you were not there to join them anymore. You’re not there to share the laughs, the tears, the pain, the disappointments and the victories. All you see are pictures. Pictures of them fulfilling their dreams and be the person they wanted to be. Pictures of them with new friends they seem to adore like the way they adore you. Pictures of them in places you used to imagine going with them in the future.

It’s scary… to think you might not be wanted in their life anymore.

It’s terrifying… to think everything would not be like the way it used to be.

It’s frustrating… to think you were the one who left and missed hundreds of chances to spend time with them.

It’s depressing… because no matter how you tell yourself that everything will be okay, you’re still shaking with fear deep inside.

It’s disappointing… to know you are SELFISH, ‘coz you want them to be just for you. You wished they don’t find anybody else to like so much they’d forget you. You hoped nobody would ever help them in times of need so they would always turn to you. You need them to always call, text or email you so you can be reassured you’re still the best friend they’ll ever know.
You hate to admit it but it’s true. You are JEALOUS, neither of the life they are having nor the things they have acquired, but of those people who were with them now. You’re dying of envy for those who are now sharing their laughs, their tears, their joys and their misery. You hate that you are not “those people”.

You thought; “that should’ve been me”, “I should’ve been the one to wipe their tears away”, “I should’ve been there to cheer them off”, “that should’ve been my hand extended to lift them when they fall”, “that would’ve been my shoulder they rested on while they cry”.
It’s not easy… to let go of those people who had been there almost all your life. Now you know how your parents felt when they sent you off to your first day at school or on that time they helped you pack your bags on your way to college. You even know now, how they would feel giving you off on your wedding day. Finally, you’ll understand how it would feel when they say goodbye on the day you’d finally leave to start your own family.

It’s hard… to share your best friends. It used to be just them and you. But now? There are also them and their new found friends. Sometimes you feel being left alone… you feel you don’t belong. You struggle to keep the communication going but end up frustrated ‘coz you’re all so busy you barely have time to exchange stories anymore. You don’t know everything that’s going on with them anymore, and certainly you’re not the first person to hear their good news anymore.

You missed them. So much that you wished you never left. Wished you could all be high school teens or college girls again so you’d be together once more. But, life doesn’t work that way right? Reality is, there’s this great distance separating you from them. All you have left now is BELIEF. Believing that, the moment you see each other again, everything would be the same. All you cling to now is FAITH. Faith in the people you treated like family. Faith in the friendship you built all through the years. TRUST… trust that no matter how seldom you talked, how scarce you texted, how far apart you are… they would keep you in their HEARTS and MINDS in everything they do. ‘Coz that’s what you always do too.