I have gone the school route and have a master's degree. Some will say I've done a lot in the last 25 years but I feel like I have accomplished nothing. Why is that? I got a college degree and struggled in the 2010 economy to find a job in NY which was only a temp job. Fast forward 4 years. I am now a fellow in India giving away my services for free wait no correction I paid someone else in order for me to provide my time and services. Why you ask? I felt desperate coming out of AmeriCorps with no job prospect. A friend offered me a job which I took but I didn't spend most of my life in school to be someone else's schmuck. Yes schmuck that is how I feel about receptionist, personal assistant and admin assistant roles. Why? Doing work others feel they are to busy to do sometimes creates a complex and who wants to be the low man on the totem pole especially when the person above you is your friend from way back. I stuck it out until they replaced me. Yea I got replaced months before heading to India.

So you ask what skills have I gained that are useful for a professional career. Hmm let me think. I am punctual and will show up on time even if I have the longest commute in the office and get up wicked early to make the journey to NYC. I am organized and get work done on schedule or on my own time if no deadline is given. I am no self starter for I do not look for extra work. I am yet to be content in an opportunity I've taken on. Does this mean I'll never be happy in a job I find for myself and it's time to create my own job by going on the entrepreneurial track? I don't think so

Here in India I've learned a very important lesson. I do not work well at home. I should have known since I get side tracked easily and like a degree of human interaction. Being the lazy body I am, I don't venture out to cafe's to sit and enjoy wifi that I feel obliged to buy something from the cafe. I also don't know where such places are in Chandanagar or Madinaguda on the outskirts of the city. So I am improving written communication and trying to improve my accountability by trying out asana to ensure I get work done in a timely fashion. I fell short once where I neglected to do a task I was assigned because I wasn't given a deadline so I focused on something else. As an outsider I don't assume I know best and trying to manage being alone in a city as far as my organization goes. Email has turned into a weapon because it is my means of communicating with my boss and his staff. My last resort is what's app when my emails are yet to receive a reply. 

I am told I am doing a good job but what happens when I leave. Will someone else take over or does the work just stop. There is high turnover in some areas of this small staff. I am trying to document everything I do and share everything via the one drive. So I spent a month just observing and doing what I am told. I got frustrated and took some advice to write out all my observations, the good, the not good. The not good came with solutions that I addressed with my boss. Since it was my idea, it is up to me to implement them. So I've started a weekly Skype session but I am not sure if they agreed just to amuse me since I am a temporary member. I try to maintain professionalism but starting emails with dear and using my work email has gone out the window so all my emails start with hi. I try not to be a nag and figure things out on my own. Like I went to IDEX when I started working on a fundraising plan. So I know this about me, I can follow through on things and create things but I still lack ability/clarity on how to implement what I come up with.

So this 2014 I personally feel I lost $4000+ for this experience but the highlights are the awesome couple I met in Kothapet who have been wonderful to me. The bonds I made with some fellows. Some fellows come December you won't hear from me. I am doing hands on work well not hands on in the fields of the tree plantations but in developing plans from thin air to be implemented before December. Now I am getting human interaction and representing ST in Hyderabad. First time was at ISB and now today at a social work college. I am semi successfully growing my own food and exploring Hyderabad my way. I am not touring India and do not want to ask for money when I can manage what I have. I am trying to minimize financial damage this experience has caused. 

Yet again my mother was right. I should not take the first opportunity that presents itself but in the face of rejections it's like what else to do? Wallow in self pity that can lead to depression? So since getting my master's I've embarked on 2 experiences, 1 looking back wasn't so bad but I can say that now because I am not living it. When I was living it I almost hit rock bottom by the 3rd month but thanks to family and the friends I made in the program I pulled myself up and completed the term. Now I am counting down to the end of this experience. I don't wan't to leave India but I do want to leave the reason that brought me to India.

Now to work on projects that are to be handed in, in less than 3 months. I'll start one project next week and see how well I can interact with school administration staff here in Hyderabad. Soon I will shift from working on fundraising plan to working on marketing. Fundraising is still on the back burner since I keep ending up on the wrong page from my boss.

So positives - the people I've met (well not all of them), cultural immersion (when I choose to go out), more of what I don't want in a career, attempting to see the positives, awesome housing, yes I use awesome way to much and the new found independence that I will miss of cook/cleaning/traveling alone. 

2015 - I pray brings a job that will foster a learning environment similar to what SankalpTaru has provided for me. I came to them with scattered experience and no expertise in any specific area. They are giving me room to grow, work on projects I'm interested in, project management and staff collaboration. This is all virtual to date but it is still a good experience. This job can be located anywhere in the world but preferably not where there is internal/external conflict or a deadly virus on the loose. Working in field with communities and minimal admin work. Since yes even field workers need to document what they do.