The Technique

Before I go on and tell you what this technique is I would like to share with you how it started.

About 16 years ago I was working with a company called British Telecommunications in the UK and was a customer service advisor on the phone so when a customer had a problem or wanted to buy a new service they would initially get through to someone like me. While I was working there the management changed quite frequently, this is not uncommon in this type of environment.

I had one particular boss, who happened to be female, who didn’t take to me at all. I thought that she was OK, although she was very aggressive. She lacked assertiveness but she was aggressive in the way she spoke and treated people, both staff and customers. Not nice at all but underneath it all she was actually an ok person but she came across as extremely aggressive and it came across that she didn’t like me at all, to the extent that my colleagues started commenting on it.

I was part of a sales team who were the top sellers in the company, in Glasgow.  She headed up the new team and was a bit of a tyrant and set high targets for ourselves and herself.

When I was selling to people on the phone I used to do it in a different way from the others. However, I was still getting the great results and a lot of the sales and hitting my high targets but what I was doing was selling in an authentic way. I wouldn’t just sell somebody something for the sake of it, I would tell the truth about the product i.e. I would tell the truth about the sale; ‘I don’t’ think that’s good for you, you should maybe take that off your service, you’re paying for something you don’t really need’. Now that customer would go off and think oh my god that’s someone being really honest that’s refreshing to hear and people would frequently comment on that, and often buy more products from me.

Anyway this manager didn’t like this and didn’t like the way I operated and she just generally didn’t like me. There was contempt there for me, so I was trying to think of way to strength our relationship because I was going to have to work with her every single day and have contact with her at morning meetings etc.

So I decided to try a technique I had heard about at a seminar, which I modified.

Now, I tried this technique with this woman at work, this boss I had and it took about two weeks of genuinely trying, in total about 5 attempts, and our relationship began to change. She started to engage with me, to laugh with me, not at me. The relationship was getting much better; I kept on trying the technique, mostly in the morning.

After about 4 weeks, our relationship had completely changed and we became a force within BT. She seemed to mellow out a little, so much so that the team started to relax and even enjoy drinks with her on nights out, which is something she previously did not do.  On one such night out, we had a chance to have a talk whilst being slightly merry from the drink.  I asked her what had changed over the last few weeks as she had seemed to mellow out a little.  She looked at me and said she honestly didn’t know, but she felt there had been some kind of change in her, but couldn’t explain it. Needless to say I didn’t tell her about the relationship bubble.

The Relationship Bubble

Basically what we do here is we spend 5 – 10 mins just before we’re drifting off to sleep and 5 – 10 minutes as we are waking up in the morning, depending how often you want to spend on it, and we do a visualization.

Visualization

When you get to the stage of drifting off to sleep imagine a huge, clear bubble, big enough to fit about 10 people in.  Imagine this bubble floating up into the night sky and watch it as it slowly gets higher and higher.  You then imagine yourself floating up to the bubble, you are weightless and the feeling you get is amazing, floating and drifting in space, you are connected to the world.  As you float towards the bubble, a door opens and you step inside the bubble, which has a clear floor with two chairs angled towards each other.  Take a seat in one of the chairs and just watch the world below you through the clear, glass like bubble.

Now it’s time to ask the person you’d like to join you.  This could be someone you’re having difficulty with, or someone you’d like to have a better relationship with.  from the bubble you see the person floating up through the sky towards the door of the bubble.  You open the door and invite them in.  They might look a little bewildered, as you offer them the chair to sit down on.

After a few seconds you start to talk to them telling them how you feel, and why you have asked them here.  get everything off your chest, and speak the truth.  After you have finsihed talking, stay silent and wait for them to speak, and as they speak listen to them, really listen.  And then, let the conversation flow, staying calm and relaxed, safe in the knowledge that nothing can harm you here.

After you have finished your conversation, thank the person for coming and then gently let the bubble float back down to earth and drift off into a deep sleep.

Simplicity and Uses

Believe me it might sound extremely simple but it really is going to work when you try this technique.

I was going to explain my theories on why it works so well, but I don’t want to taint your thinking about this, so I’ll leave that part for another time, or maybe add it in this article later on.

When to Use It

To resolve a difficult relationship

If you’re having difficulty with someone at work, in your family, or in your social circle the relationship bubble can be an amazing way to gain insights into why the relationship is rocky and work on resolving the issues.

To strengthen a relationship

The relationship Bubble is an amazing way to strengthen an already good relationship with someone, to become more loving, to become more caring, or to speak about the little things that may be bothering you.

Resolve family issues

I’ve used this lots of times when I have been worried about family members, and they are not particularly open to talking.  The relationship Bubble offers a secure way to speak to someone, and to help you decrease your anxiety or worry about a family member.  There’s been more than a few occasions that family members, who previously would not speak about their problems, have opened up a day or two after I used the bubble.

Attracting a relationship

If you would like to attract a relationship in your life, whether it be personal, business or just for social reasons, then the relationship bubble is great for this.  Instead of summoning someone who you know, you just summon someone, knowing that the right person will join you in the bubble.

This is also a great way to attract more customers, for example if you’re a sales person, you can attract customers using this technique as well.