Ouch..!

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Hi.
An interesting, though slightly different, approach perhaps but here's my story. (I'll keep it brief(ish).)
I'm an average guy, had a mixture (as far as boyfriend/girlfriend relationships go) of success in various relationships then, about 26 years ago I met the girl of my dreams. Good so far... Hmmm? You see, the trouble was I didn't actually have a dream of a girl like her. But, for some reason, she was the one so I went with it. I was totally in love with her- all the way through but, as far as love was concerned, it was a one way flow from me to her. It was, in many ways, a very good relationship but for the unrequited love.
Now, perhaps not as bad as it may sound for I rather enjoy giving love. I like being in love. I am also, in my nature: faithful; loyal and devoted. Next snag, she liked and took my love and seemed to have plenty to give too- just it went to other guys. We have children, what do you do? I took vows and believed in them. It was pretty bad and that was my life, yet, through all of this, I adored her.
Somehow I always kept the same image in my mind of my perfect girl, I've had this image since I was really quite tiny.
I grew up being hounded by people everywhere telling me how life was, what to think, believe and so on. I didn't believe any of it but, dutifully, did as I was told and battled through a life that was well out of the flow. Then, a number of years ago I was introduced to 'The Secret' and there, in black and white, in a book, was everything I believed and someone, Rhonda (thank you so much), telling me this was right and it was right to think this way and go with it.
So, I started to think about my life and how I was thinking and how it was going. Not good all round really. I first took time to convince my unconscious mind that I was happy (repeated positive affirmation) it worked! Even during bad times I actually felt happy- inside, continually and still do.

Then I started to ask for my perfect relationship and the girl of my dreams and that image of my perfect girl reappeared in my mind and, guess what... my wife left me! To be honest I felt a little insulted by it and didn't connect it with my request to The Universe. But, then I put two and two together! 

Now, I had a very strong dream I was putting out but kept returning to the comfort, and addiction, of what I'd had so I've been in the wilderness for about 11 months and definitely going no where. So, I asked for some clarity on what was good for me and what I really wanted. The very next day my estranged wife, whom I was trying to convince myself I was back in love with, phoned me and told me she had a boyfriend. I was devastated, heart broken and felt as though someone (her) had just ripped my stomach out. It did though make me realise what I wanted- the girl of my dreams and she, as she actually said to me when she left, was not the one!

I knew I was in for a bit of heartache and boy does it hurt but, I know I'm going somewhere and that is comforting. It's tough going, I'll admit that and I'm really having to force myself sometimes to act and believe she, and 'we' are real. I'm a bit thinner (off my food!) but I'm beginning to really feel her/us and then I really do feel naturally happy. So this is the tough bit, for me, and I know there'll be plenty more out there, here too- hurting bad but chasing their dream- well, brothers and sisters I'm with you and we're ALL getting through it so stick with it and SMILE! Remember, it seems that most people who have posted their success story in the Relationship section have gone through this tough bit. I wish us all success x God bless.



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