Have you ever wondered who your real friends are? Here are some tips or guides to know who they are!
♥ True Friends ♥
♥ Real friends appreciate you for who you are.
You feel secure with them. You feel like you can be who you are without having to hide behind any mask or pretend to be someone else. They like you for your quirks. These people will not even try to change you for who you are.
In case you are already doing inappropriate things, they will not tolerate it. They would gladly help you be better especially if you ask for it or are clearly incapable of thinking for yourself. During misunderstandings, they will always try their best to understand why you do things the way you do. They accept how terrible you can be sometimes.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
♥ Real friends will think of your happiness
Yes they can still be harsh at times when you deserve to hear things that may hurt you but they do it out of care/concern. They will tell you if you are being stupid and hurting yourself or others. True friends will not tolerate you doing bad things to yourself or other people. They won’t let you fall because of your own mistakes.
They always have your best interests at heart and say things to help you realize what you’re currently not able to .
♥ Real friends will be there for you.
Even if some friends are not showy, they will be there when you’re down. They will listen to your problems and comfort you. Some may even try to come up with solutions even if you know you can solve it on your own when you can think straight. Real friends are there when you really need them.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
♥ Bear in mind that a real friend will find time for you even when they’re busy.
They will make time for you even for just a minute unless it’s really a critical situation. Of course, do not be selfish with your real friends too. Respect, honesty and concern should always be there in real friendships.
If you are a real friend to others too, you probably are already doing those mentioned above.
♣ Fake Friends ♣
♣ If you have a so-called friend who always makes you feel bad about yourself, think again.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Fake friends do not show appreciation for any of your achievements. If that person does not make you feel good every time you see each other then why put up with that person? He/she is not a real friend. You can choose to drop him/her off as a friend immediately or gradually.
Breaking friendships or any relationship is never easy. These things need to be talked about by both parties if you'd like to keep and improve it. It won't be easy but you can eventually treat that person as an acquaintance or as somebody you know. Be civil but do not be rude.
♣ People who are not able to say anything good to you or about you are not your friends.
These are just the people you know you cannot please. If you know someone like this and consider that person as your buddy, think twice. Even if they say they do something to you or for you because they love or care about you, it’s not true. It’s just lip service so they won’t look bad in the eyes of other people. They are only trying to build themselves up while they tear you down.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
♣ Fake friends will expect things in return when they do favors for you.
Sometimes people will try and be friends with you and do things for you without even asking for it. And then they will ask for your help. When you can't help, they will then rebut all the good things they did for you so you will feel guilty. These people primarily just want to use you.
♣ You won’t feel any real bond with them at all whatever you or they do.
You’ll feel no close bond to them as compared to those who you really consider as real friends. They won’t really care about what you do and won’t remember what’s important to you. These people may even laugh at you instead of laugh with you.
You can laugh at their jokes and tell them stuff but there is no closeness or sharing of your real feelings about things that you’re really interested in.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
* * * * * * * * * *
To sum it up, here's two simple equations I came up with:
- Real Friends = Happiness or Joy (even during bad times)
- Fake Friends = Pain (which includes Sadness, Insecurity and Feelings of Unworthiness or Constraint)
(Video credit: Be Inspired via YouTube)
* * * * * * * * * *
The above is something I wrote several years ago when I felt some friends I had weren't real friends at all. Of course it has now been edited and improved. (Thanks to Bitlanders I now write better articles. Hehe.)
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
That write up was based on my personal experience at the time. Back then it bugged me because they are okay people however I didn't really feel good around them. At some point it seems we have to move on from certain friendships. By reflecting on my experiences with those people, I realized some were actually never really my friends. A few more were kind of toxic too. So of course I had to decide to not be friends with them anymore. It was for the best.
Bad friendships made me write that article. I finally learned who my true friends were back then. After I wrote that, I went over all my friends in my mind. One by one I cut off the bad "friends" from my life. I don't regret doing it because I am happier without them around.
Now let me give you information from the internet regarding what friendship and real/fake friends are.
A life coaching website has this to say in 2014 about what true friends do not do. Here's the summary.
True friends will not:
- Criticize you for who you are.
- Abandon you in times of trouble.
- Hold you back.
- Hold grudges.
- Be dishonest with you.
- Solve your problems for you.
- Use you and not give back.
- Treat you bad and bully you.
- Make you feel obligated.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
If the above list reminds you of someone, better find other friends. Or we better change ourselves to keep friendships. Real friends are truly hard to find.
Aside from family and other loved ones, it is important that we also have friends. We humans are social beings so if we don't have any then we will be sad, lonely and angry people. In case we find a need for friends then perhaps we also need to look inside and find out more of who we are. Knowing ourselves is as important as knowing who our buddies are. If we know who we are, we can find other people to share a connection and be friends with.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Now let me share something from a psychology website. A psychiatrist wrote an article posted in 2010 offering advice on how to spot friends, frenemies, enemies and bullies. Here's the summary:
♦ Friends:
- Make you happy (and we reciprocate of course).
- Offer constructive criticism.
- Believe in you and support you.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
♦ Frenemies:
- You're not sure if they are on your side or not.
- They give you neutral treatment.
- Might be more of an acquaintance.
- Can become one of the three: a friend, enemy or a bully.
♦ Enemies:
- Make you feel negative emotions.
- Criticize destructively and does not try to understand you.
- Does not support you and can turn others against you.
- You don't like each other.
♦ Bullies:
- Have no respect for you.
- Are insecure, probably extremely too.
- Immature.
- Hurting inside.
- Dump their pain on you by hurting you.
(Photo credit via Pixabay)
Sounds familiar? You can read my Hate & Pain blog series if you'd like to learn more on how to help bullies.
- Why People Hate or Hurt Other People (1 of 3)
- 5 Things We Can Do to End the Cycle of Hating and/or Hurting Other People (2 of 3)
- How to Maintain or Continue Goodness to Help Eradicate Hate and Pain (3 of 3)
(Video credit: BRIGHT SIDE via YouTube)
Because over the past several years I’ve read all the self-help books I could and more, I’m sharing this with everyone. Am happy to write and share it this way for whoever is looking to help themselves and others. I've written several self help articles to increase awareness to these topics as much as the famous and inspirational people helped me.
If what I write doesn’t resonate or work for you, you’re free to find something else that will. No one knows you more than yourself.
Have anything more to add? Did I help you with this article? Feel free to leave a comment or maybe treat me to some vacation somewhere if you'd like:
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For more of my other insightful blogs, click below:
- What Happens When We Keep Doing Good
- 5 Ways on How Not to be a Workaholic Anymore
- The What, Whys and How of Workaholism >>> 5 star blog!
- Drive and Motivation: What Compels Us to Move and Why
- How to Be Able to Do What You Haven't Done Before - Let Go of Controlling the Outcome (3/3)
- 5 Reasons Why Having and Raising Kids is No Joke
- Are You Aware That The Golden Rule Sucks?
- A Basic Guide and Info on Sensitive and Manipulative People
- Complaints: The Whys and How to Stop It
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