Staring in my computer screen with so much pain and anger inside of me;
I'm so mad, mad to the those who made my life miserable, mad with the world;
but most of all I'm consume with rage against myself...
I thought destroying there dreams for me could make me feel better?! but what the fuck!
I'm suffering from all the mistakes i made just to hurt them...
Now my life is so messed up...I ask myself should I blame them?
-the good side of me said " no! you are responsible for your own actions"
but the bad side said " YES! you should coz you wouldn't do those things if not because of them!
....thinking...thinking...insane or not I'm confused and angry than ever but for whom?!
I don't even know who I'm mad about... Yeah I remember...countless reason why I'm mad...
but do I really have the right to be mad?
I'm just so shallow in a way that I' am blinded to accept and see reasons...
I use to be nice but all this pain had turn me into a cold hearted monster...(or so u thought!)
I miss the times when I'm able to laugh with not a care in the world, I miss to giggle on some silly things,
I miss the times when I feel happy...(could i still have the chance to get those back? or I'll be forever a monster till the end?)
I thought of myself as strong but oh boy! the big TRUTH SLAP ME in the face coz all along...
I been pretending to be strong when I'm such a CHICKEN SHIT!
