While I know it may seem strange to build the concept of break up success but if you think about it, there is a certain challenge to shedding those feelings for someone. If you’ve ever experienced a painful break up, you know the emotional roller coaster you must endure to get over it and move on. That part when you wake up feeling not just normal but really great, that is the success. There are certain ways you can achieve successfully getting over a break up. Here are my personal favorites, though there is so much more to know in order to really gain success in a break up.
1 Non Contact
This would be the major player in the break up game. If you’re certain that the relationship is over, there’s really no good reason you should be speaking to your ex. The fear factor may bounce into your mind that you’ve lost your love (which of course, we put on a pedestal post break up). This is where you have to step up and remember why the relationship ended. Just give yourself some time to get over the initial vulnerability of your potentially broken heart.
2 Avoid the Game
Hopefully you have taken the advice of step 1 but if you live in a place where you’re bound to run into your ex, avoid the game. Don’t try to one up or tell your ex’s friends how awesome you’re doing. If you see their car outside the local pub, don’t go in. Be the better person and don’t play into any competition. This becomes a toxic relationship without any love involved. It’s ugly and prevents you from really getting over it.
3 Be Gentle on Yourself
Don’t kick yourself for whatever happened in the relationship. There were two people involved so chances are no matter what you did to contribute to the ending, it wasn’t all you. If it was, if was for a reason and you should honor that and forgive yourself. Take yourself out for a manicure or get a new haircut. You may think that’s shallow but honestly, sometimes it’s the little things. One of the benefits to a break up is you get to focus solely on you for a little while. It’s your right so embrace it and do things to give you a lift.
4 Don’t Avoid Those Emotions, Feel it
Those pesky emotions are likely to cause some turbulence in your life for some time. It may be tough to take the ebb and flow. Tears, anger, all out depression with a touch of anxiety could be your reality for a bit. If you settle into these feelings, they are going to dissipate sooner rather than later. Of course don’t openly allow yourself to fall into a pit of despair for months at a time. The best rule of thumb is to investigate the feelings, accept that they are there and then let them flow away from you. This would be kind of like a meditative practice which has proven to dramatically help with any type of emotional problems we have. I’ll be digging into meditative solutions also so stay tuned for that.
5 Time to Yourself
Get to know yourself again, it may have been awhile since you asked yourself what you want from life. It may be uncomfortable if you haven’t spent time alone much in the past. It may have been the reason you stayed in a relationship that wasn’t working. This gives you time to explore a lot about yourself and make friends with you.
6 Laugh
They say laughing can stop cancer in its tracks so it’s got to be good for the love sickness we experience post break up. Funny videos, movies or going on a roller coaster. Hanging out with friends that crack you up is a plus too. Whatever you can do to boost your mood, do that. Laugh as hard and as loud as you can.
7 Find What You Like
I like to think of finding what you like to do as filling your life up with so much light that you extinguish the darkness. To be honest, my own break up success can be attributed to writing a book. I became excited about my life and instead of continuing on in sadness about my failed relationship, I found something I really liked to do. This is great medicine.
8 Beware the Self Destructive Monster
One last note, take care when it comes to the self destruction element. It stems from feelings that should be looked at instead of covered up. Don’t drink yourself into temporary happiness or bounce into another relationship for validation of your worth. This seriously prolongs your break up success and creates problems that weren’t there before.
