Online dating and romance scams continue to lure in Australians with figures last week showing people have lost more than A$23 million this year alone, with average individual losses at A$21,000 – three times higher than other types of fraud.

The Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) set up the Scam Disruption Project in August to help target those it believes have been caught in such scams. Over three months it sent 1,500 letters to potential victims in New South Wales and the Australian Capital Territory.

The figures released this week show that 50 people have been scammed, losing a total A$1.7 million – that’s an average of A$34,000 per victim. Almost three quarters of the scams were dating and romance related, which saw it evolve into the number one category of fraud victimisation.

Romance scams continue to pose a problem – despite the efforts of the police and ACCC – so why is it that people continue to fall for them?

First contact
From my experience interviewing victims, it starts out innocently. An online message from a dating website or social media, a “like”, a “wink” or a “kiss”. After that initial connection, it moves to an off-site messenger service. Long conversations, day and night, over email, messenger or the telephone.

Over days, weeks, months or even years a relationship develops. But then it happens – the request for money. It may be a few hundred dollars or it may be several thousand. The request can be for a medical emergency, a travel request or any number of things.

By that stage, the level of trust and rapport is so strong and the level of perceived intimacy so great, that the victim complies and sends money. For so many, that first transfer is the beginning of a heartbreaking and costly journey.

But as the ACCC points out:

Whatever the story, once the victim pays a scammer the money is gone and the chance of ever recovering the loss is almost nil.

To prevent such losses the ACCC started its Scam Disruption Project to seek out potential victims and attempt to stop them sending money overseas.

This follows similar approaches undertaken in other jurisdictions, notably Project Sunbird in Western Australia, which exemplifies a proactive way to combat this type of fraud.

As an outsider, it is difficult to understand how a person becomes a victim. It seems somewhat outrageous that a person could send large amounts of money to a person they have not met in person.

It’s too easy to blame the victim, hold them responsible for their loss and reinforce the shame and guilt they are already feeling. But this ignores the role of the offenders in this situation and the ways in which they employ high level manipulation, exploitation and social engineering tactics to ensure compliance from their victims.

We’re more open online
Everyone has a weakness or vulnerability. Being human implies that we are all fallible. For those seeking relationships online, their weakness is the desire to find love.

Studies which explore characteristics of online relationships have found increased self-disclosures online compared to face-to-face interactions.

Combined with research which asserts online communication as the enabler of “hyperpersonal relationships” (overly intense relationships), this literature helps frame how individuals are manipulated into losing money to someone they have not physically met.

Love can soon blossom online despite no face to face contact. Flickr/Victory of the People, CC BY-NC-ND
Click to enlarge

Over the years, I’ve interviewed around 150 victims and they do not fit a prescribed stereotype. The idea that victims are greedy and stupid is simply a myth used to perpetuate the idea that “we” cannot be victims, that “we” are different to those who become victims and that “we” are too smart and impenetrable to any type of fraud.

Instead, I’ve found that romance fraud affects men and women, young and old (though older people are more attractive targets), from a variety of educational, occupational and socio-economic backgrounds.

I’ve also found that people cope differently from this experience: some are angry, some are depressed, some talk of suicide, while others spend every waking hour trying to figure out how they were scammed and try to prevent it happening to others.

There are still many victims who are not able to come to terms with what is happening and despite intervention from family, friends and even law enforcement, they refuse to acknowledge the deception.

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