Hot girl walks into a bar. Average-looking guy (you) spots her, puts his drink down, walks up to her, and says...
WHAT?!
Something inane, most likely. Or worse, something inadvertently offensive. Either way, the story doesn't end the way you want it to. Every man knows that to have big game you gotta know how to small talk, so here are some tips on finally getting past that first awkward "So... Come here often?" (Here's your first tip: Stop saying "So... Come here often?")
DO: OBSERVE BEFORE OPENING YOUR MOUTH
Check her out in more ways than one. Is she alone? Does she look uncomfortable (most likely napilitan sumama) or is she the life of the party? Her body language should determine your approach (the napilitan sumama is not going to respond well to your pa-suave affectation—you're probably the very type of guy she'd been trying to avoid all night).
DON'T: INTERROGATE
"So, what do you do?" "Where did you go to college?" "Ah, DLSU?" "Anong ID number mo?" "May kasama kang friend?" "What's your favorite color?" Rapid-fire questions with her barely keeping up with answers do not make a conversation. Most likely, she will be replying with "What about you" at every turn, and that's out of politeness, not genuine interest.
DO: MAKE AN EFFORT TO COMPLIMENT HER
There's a world of difference between "You look really good tonight" and "Nice shoes; they really match your bag." The former has flirty undertones, while the latter...well, let's just say you'll definitely make her think you're batting for the same team. Save the sartorial know-how for a later date—it will be more impressive then.
DO: INCLUDE HER FRIENDS IN THE CONVO
If you single her out and alienate her friends, you put them in an awkward circumstance. There's no harm in chatting both up (you'll look like a standup guy) and hey, you never know: You might actually hit it off with one of her (hopefully more attractive) friend more.
DON'T: BRING UP HOT BUTTON TOPICS
Sure, you may want to impress her with your extensive knowledge of conspiracy theories (thanks to watching Ancient Aliens) or your rant about government inefficiency (Anyare na kay Napoles?) but really, stick to safer (funner!) points of interest: Where'd she travel to lately? Where is she going next? Hey, has she been to that cool new coffee shop/bar/restaurant/amusement park? Is she into pets? Films? Music festivals? A lot of convo-worthy stuff are now trendy, bro. Don't stick to boring subjects or topics that are just not fit to be talked about casually (unless you're 100-percent sure that she's interested).
DO: LET HER TALK, TOO
Just because you went up to her, it doesn't mean it's on you to keep up the conversation. If she's interested, she will also ask you questions—or at the very least, give enthusiastic enough responses to keep it flowing. Give her space to think of stuff to talk about, too. You'll both know if you're clicking—just let it go, and let it flow, sir.
DON'T: ANTAGONIZE HER (AND BE POLITE!)
If you're really hitting it up small talk-wise with her, chances are you'll soon land on a topic wherein your opinions will differ. Sure, she might have a different take on the whole "Jolo Revilla 'accidentally' shot himself" issue, but that's no reason to get angry or give her the cold treatment. Be polite and let her speak her mind. If you can't take it anymore, politely say that you disagree but understand where she's coming from. She may not like your words but she'll like the fact that you're mature enough to not be a jerk about it. In hindsight, if you don't really like everything that comes out of her mouth, then maybe it's time to move on to the next gal.
DO: BREATHE
The prospect of making small talk with a pretty girl can make some guys—especially the introverted ones—really sweat and fill their minds with sad thoughts of rejection. So, if you want to really make small talk but is no master at it (or if your friends pulled out the ol' peer pressure card), take a deep breath first before approaching her. This simple act will help you collect your thoughts and calm down. No girl sees an obviously uneasy guy who's sweating loads sexy.
