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The most common reasons why many relationships fail is when you’re infatuated with someone and you confused it with love. The fact is we can’t blame ourselves for doing so, because infatuation is a powerful feeling that can make us think we are really in love. Time and maturity are needed to distinguish the difference between these two.
We have to remember that infatuation is mostly based on physical attraction and fantasy while true love is the desire to be with that person regardless of how he looks. Love is the union of two different individuals with a fair share of painful experiences from the past. A relationship will always be hard to handle and it will be even harder when both of you are not exerting enough effort to make it stronger.
It’s easy to fall in love but staying in love is more complex and challenging. Nobody is perfect and we’re all capable of making mistakes every now and then. Every relationship goes through different cycles and stages, and no matter how careful we are, tension and conflict are both inevitable.
Some of it is so bad that will make you want to quit, BUT DON'T. Here are the secret recipes to make love last a lifetime.
1. RESPECT and ACCEPT each other.
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To be disrespectful to your partner is an indication that you are self-centered and only concern about your own feelings. Not listening to his opinion and thinking that you are always right will result in bitter arguments. Every time you respond with an eye-roll whenever he speaks or talking with him using a sarcastic tone is a perfect way to create misunderstandings.
Once he realized that it’s easy for you to insult him, it will leave an impression that you are inconsiderate and rude. This kind of attitude is very dangerous because once the politeness goes out the door, the love will be ruin. Treat each other with courtesy instead of exchanging harsh words and hurtful jokes.
Never let a woman feel less important if she’s a plain housewife and don’t make a man feel useless if you have a better job than him. Love is an equal responsibility and no one should impose superiority on each other. It is not about who did it better, YOU or ME, it’s about WE did it TOGETHER.
2. To BE FAITHFUL is the right decision.
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Don’t expect temptation to unfollow you, that’s why it is called TEMPTATION, it exists to TEMPT people. Love alone is not enough to stay loyal, SELF-CONTROL is what you need. We have to understand that wanting more is human nature and sometimes, we can be emotionally weak.
This is what brains are for, to use it in case of emergency. When your body is feeling triggered to do something that you shouldn’t, control yourself using all the logical reasoning that you can ever think of. Ask yourself if this one-night stand is worth ruining what you’ve built over the years.
If someone asks you for a dinner date, refuse it immediately. If he is trying to flirt with you, be clear in saying NO. When your partner is not with you, behave yourself and never play around.
Once you are in a relationship, you have to limit yourself in spending time with the opposite gender. It is to prevent you from getting attracted to someone else and falling out of love with your partner. Don’t expose yourself to a situation that you will regret in the end.
3. TRUST is the product of HONESTY.
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To be honest is the best way to gain someone’s trust specially your partner. Don’t give him the reason to doubt you and never dare to hide the truth by creating sugar-coated lies. At the end of the day, the truth will always come out and it’s YOU who will suffer the consequences of broken trust.
It is impossible for a liar to have a happy and meaningful relationship. How can you expect someone to love you with all honesty if you are hiding something? Not keeping secrets to one another will open up the way to discover more about your partner that makes both of you understand and believe each other.
Nothing can break your relationship if you trust each other so much. There is no harm in being honest so choose it daily. If you apply it in every little thing, you are making him the happiest man on earth.
4. Stay calm and WATCH YOUR WORDS.
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Don’t hesitate to tell him whenever you feel sad, disappointed, angry, or jealous. Talk about it in a manner that it doesn’t sound like you are blaming him. Explaining how upset you are when he didn’t reply to your message is much better than shouting and nagging in front of him.
If you can’t really contain your emotions, the best way to deal with it is to not talk at all. You can’t trust yourself to say something nice if you’re at the peak of your negative emotions. Try to drink a glass of water or just look at the sky for a while to lessen the tension that you are feeling inside.
Once you are calm enough, resolve it immediately. Learn to say sorry even if you’re not at fault and forgive each other with a kiss. Stop bringing back the issue each time you are facing new arguments. Remind yourself that whatever happened in the past should stay in the past.
5. SAY I love you and SHOW it.
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You should never come to a point where you take your relationship for granted. Always do sweet things for him whenever you get the chance. Spend an intimate moment with him, turning your phones off and just savoring your love for each other, with no distractions at all.
Saying “I love you” is not only for birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions. These magic words should be spilled out in the most unexpected way. If you were stuck in a traffic jam, why don’t you try to look at him in the eyes and tell him how much you love him?
The point is it doesn’t matter when and where, as long as it is true and sincere. Even a simple hug and a love note can strengthen the bond, so why not do it as much as you can? One of the best feelings in the world is when your lover loves you back more than you did.
Your love for each other must be stronger than any obstacles that both of you will encounter. Be the person that your partner can lean on. Keep showing how much you love him as if there’s no tomorrow. Make him feel special every day and prove to him that choosing you is all worth it.
Final Remarks
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Having a purpose for your relationship is an essential ingredient to make it last. The answer to, “WHY are we together?” should be clear, or else both of you will get lost. You are together not because you want someone to cook for you or clean the house for free, there should be a deeper reason why two spirits join together.
Both individuals must have each other’s back, making each other feel safe and secure. Love is putting your lover’s feelings and needs before your own. It is looking at him and understanding what he needs as an individual.
The decision to be committed in a relationship means that you are willing to protect and serve him for the rest of your life. When he successfully completed something, you should celebrate it with him. If he is losing his confidence, you must be there to brighten up his day.
A relationship is never complete without conflict. The truth is fighting in and off isn’t the real problem. Your relationship can survive tons of fights but it can’t survive a single loss of trust. It’s when one or both of you threaten to leave the relationship each time stress goes up.
It shouldn’t be this way, a relationship needs a STRONG SUPPORT SYSTEM. Threatening him about breaking up to manipulate and control the situation will only make it worst. If you truly love the person, you will endure and never quit. Be kind, loving, considerate, understanding, and gentle to your partner. True love is facing the odds together and having a heart that listens.
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